


The Mission's Death Knell

by yoroyazu



Category: Gintama
Genre: Drama, Espionage, M/M, Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, canon universe AU, gintoki as a joui spy AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:14:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26924197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoroyazu/pseuds/yoroyazu
Summary: Three targets. One job. When Gintoki accepted the job, he didn't think it would be all that hard to kill the top three officials in the Shinsengumi. When a seed of doubt is planted, he finds himself struggling to accept what is developing between him and the vice-commander. With tensions running high between them, he questions whether or not his loyalty to the Kiheitai can overcome the challenge set in front of him before coming to the conclusion that changes his life in a way he never thought possible.
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 20
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

Takasugi was the most bloodthirsty out of all of the joui in the Kiheitai, and when Gintoki was in the room with him, the intimidating aura he radiated was thick enough to cut through, though none of those who were in the room were intimidated. If anything, it irritated Gintoki, but he knew most of the time to keep his mouth shut. Sometimes, though, he took a crack at riling him up, which worked. "So you understand what must be done?" Takasugi might have trusted Gintoki with missions, but he didn't quite trust if he would pay attention to what he was intended to do.

Gintoki was only half-paying attention, but he got the gist of the idea behind his new mission: send the Bakufu into chaos and then have the Kiheitai attack the Shogunate when they least expect it. It was foolproof if it went exactly as planned and the right steps were taken, and Gintoki was determined to see it through. There wasn't much to it. 

"Yes, Takasugi. Whose idea was this in the first place? The lolicon's?" Gintoki replied, flicking his finger after having it stuck in his nose. He'd be the first to admit that he was only half-listening during this meeting, the first meeting that Gintoki had been to in a few months, but since the new plan was being unveiled, his attendance was necessary.

"I'm not a lolicon but a feminist," Takechi replied, earning groans not only from Gintoki but from Matako as well. Takechi would be a fine fellow to talk to if he wasn't a lolicon, and because of that fact, it made talking to him and discussing strategy a chore in itself. Gintoki got the creeps when in the same vicinity as him. "The objective is to infiltrate the Shinsengumi and kill the top three officials: Kondo Isao, Hijikata Toshirou, and Okita Sougo. You paid attention to that much, right?"

"Yeah, yeah." Gintoki's finger was stuck in his nose once again. It wasn't even a question that he would have been chosen for this mission since his specialty was covert operations. Even in the joui war, he worked alone and spied on the amanto to try and get the upper hand in battle. He knew it was only a matter of time until someone came up with this batshit crazy idea of a mission for Gintoki to complete. "You didn't answer my question. Whose grand plan is this? Yours? Takasugi? Deaf man?"

"Think of it as the brainchild of all of our efforts combined." Takechi's comparison was fair, but Gintoki knew Takasugi was the mastermind behind the plan. 

"Oi, Takasugi, you know this is almost a death sentence, right?" Gintoki warned, "If I get discovered, I'll likely get skewered. You really don't wanna risk losing your best spy, do you?" The hardest part would be infiltrating the Shinsengumi. With Gintoki's charisma, it shouldn't be too hard to befriend one of their subordinates and get a recommendation. Certainly, it would take some time to get the ball rolling, but once it got rolling, it'd break out into an avalanche, uncontrollable and deadly.

Takasugi took a puff from his kiseru, blowing the smoke in Gintoki's direction. "I have faith you'll be able to do it." His brief declaration did nothing to console Gintoki's fears but instead put undue pressure on succeeding. Sure, getting the upper hand would be worth it in the long run, but dying an unnecessary death at the hand of the enemy... It was hard to imagine. But Gintoki had no other choice other than to see it through.

"What a drag," Gintoki groaned. "Okay. What do I need to do?"

"We told you that," Matako said.

"No, what's the plan? What's the plan you came up with to put that plan in motion?" Gintoki's clear admission that he hadn't been listening astounded all four of the other people in the room.

"We told you that, too." Takechi replied. "You were paying attention, weren't you?"

Gintoki could recognize a trick question when faced with one. "I just infiltrate the Shinsengumi, right? Befriend them, butter them up, and when the time's right, kill them all."

"Not all. Just the top three. No need to turn into Itachi," Matako grumbled, clearly irritated by Gintoki's transparency when it came to his listening skills. "Just infiltrate and kill them. That's all you need to do."

"Yes. Got it." Gintoki twirled a finger in the air as if to already claim victory.

"Senpai, you should really take this seriously. Your life depends on it."

Matako's concerns fell on deaf ears. "Yeah, yeah. Is this meeting over yet? _ Jump _ 's on sale, and I wanna make sure I get a copy." Gintoki looked up and finally saw the evident frustration on their faces. "Okay, so how am I infiltrating? S'not like I can just run up to Soichiro-kun and ask for his recommendation to join."

"First, find out the patrol route, and then report back. It's necessary for how we progress that part of the plan," Takechi added to the conversation. After all, he was the strategist for the Kiheitai. The least Gintoki could do was follow his command beyond Takasugi, not that Gintoki liked being ordered around by anyone.

Gintoki grumbled but left the room, starting his part in the plan. Even though his hair was wild and far from matching ordinary citizens, Gintoki was the least likely to be recognized out of Takasugi, Takechi, Matako, Deaf man, and himself. After all, he was the one who did all of the spying for them, so keeping his identity secret from anyone else was necessary in his line of work.

Sticking his bokuto in the obi of his kimono, Gintoki headed out to do the reconnaissance required on the patrol route the Shinsengumi used to prevent joui activity, not that the joui perform out in the open anyway. Work from the shadows, and when it was time to shine, burn out in the sky, a spectacle to be seen by everyone in Edo.

Walking amongst the ordinary citizens, Gintoki had the uncanny ability to blend in with those he didn't belong. He didn't look suspicious when he should, but his name or image wasn't out in the open like the rest of them. Since his specialty was covert operations, Gintoki's name and image in the open wouldn't do. Takasugi would lose his best spy, and though he wouldn't admit it openly, that wasn't something he wanted to do.

Gintoki decided to spend the rest of the day snooping around, spending his time incognito. The first step in any successful mission was to gather enough reconnaissance to infiltrate. Not having enough to set the first stepping stone down would lead the mission to failure, or worse: his identity being discovered. He would rightfully be executed for his association with the Kiheitai if the Shinsengumi found out, or he would be at least waterboarded into giving them information on Takasugi's whereabouts. Setting the scene was crucial. The timing? Even more important. Everything had to be just right for the infiltration to work out as planned.

Passing almost every street in the city of Edo was a chore in itself. Gintoki thought it would take months of work to just pinpoint the exact route Soichiro would take every day, but the one thing he didn't expect was it would only take a mere hour to even see the man himself walking down the street with the demonic vice-commander as well. And Gintoki could only smile, a devious smile that could have possibly tipped off anyone around him. But it was so slight that there was no way for even a keen eye to notice it.

Soichiro and Oogushi turned a corner, and so did Gintoki. Staying far enough behind to not be noticed by either of them, he tailed them and made plenty of mental notes of landmarks, shops, and restaurants nearby, making it easier on him to remember this patrol route.

The patrol route was so close to the Kiheitai's base of operations; it made Gintoki wonder how he and his comrades-in-arms haven't been caught for the sheer amount of times they have passed by. Were they not worried about the Kiheitai? Or were they just more occupied with finding and exterminating Katsura's faction to bother with the Kiheitai? It seemed like a risky move, but with the lack of movement from the Kiheitai as of late, it wouldn’t have surprised Gintoki if they were focusing more on Katsura's group. Never mind the fact that the Kiheitai was the more deadly of the two factions. But the more lack of concentration on the Kiheitai right now, the better. Gintoki chocked up the lack of movement to preparations for this mission that Takechi and Takasugi seemed to pull out of their asses. Since Gintoki never went to those meetings that the lolicon insisted on, he never found out if this was planned in advance.

Gintoki didn't care. He was finally getting to show off his skills, and he was more excited about that than what happens in  _ Hanger x Hanger _ . Even while living a life of danger, he still enjoyed the small things of modern life like eating all of the chocolate parfaits he can, guzzling down strawberry milk, and reading  _ Jump _ , which he still felt like he was too old to read it at this point in his life.

Gintoki reckoned that he was doing well enough at tailing Soichiro and Oogushi when they led him right to their headquarters. Once they went inside, Gintoki lingered outside, taking notes on what would be his new home for at least a year. Perhaps even longer than that if they got close to inferring his identity. He would have to be careful, more often than usual to cover any leads he might leave to reveal his identity. The utmost of care must be taken to prevent premature death.

With the rest of the day free now that the first step was done, Gintoki took his time going back to the Kiheitai's headquarters. He stopped at every convenience store in Kabuki-cho to find the latest  _ Jump  _ issue with no such luck. The day was not all lost since he could at least get his daily parfait on his way back. It was the least he could do now that the game had begun.

* * *

It may have been nice outside weather-wise during the day, but at night, it was still ice cold. The building had no heat, which kept Gintoki shivering in his futon all night and icicles forming from his dripping nose. The thin blanket he used barely protected him from the freezing cold nights. It was a miracle he survived every night in the first place. So when Matako ripped his only source of warmth off of him, he couldn't say he was pleased. "Get up, senpai. It's time for the meeting." She left the room after he sat up, allowing him to get his bearings before going to the meeting.

As much as he wanted to crawl back into his futon and go back to sleep, Gintoki knew that he would never hear the end of it from either Matako, or worse Takasugi, who would surely wake him up in a much more violent manner than what Matako would.

Peeling himself away from the safety of his own futon, Gintoki couldn't help but feel regret about following Takasugi after the war, but what was done was done. He dressed himself and tried to fix his hair the best he could before walking down the hall to their meeting area. Nevertheless, he didn't want to be awake and definitely didn't want to have a meeting at… four in the morning? His jaw dropped when he looked at the time, but there it was in glaring digital red lights. He sighed in defeat. The first of many early mornings he reckoned he would have.

Wandering down the hall, Gintoki came face-to-face with the door to the meeting room, and when he opened it, Takasugi, Matako, Takechi, and Bansai were gathered around the table and looked up simultaneously when they heard the door click shut. "Gintoki, thank you for joining us." Takechi was the first to greet him.

"S'not like I have much of a choice." Gintoki's irritation shot back and shot back hard. "Why can't we have meetings in the afternoon or just normal people hours? Does it always have to be before dawn?"

Takasugi shot him a deadly glare before he spoke. "They always say 'The early bird gets the worm'." Takasugi was right, but a meeting at four in the morning? Gintoki thought of it as blasphemous to be awake before nine. "Now, what information did you gather yesterday when you were out?"

Gintoki placed a finger on his chin as he sat down in the nearby chair. "I passed some amanto shops, and a snack house called Otose's Snack House. A dojo called Koudoukan which seemed like it was pretty run down. A club called Kamakko Club was around there too."

Takechi hummed a reply, clearly thinking of the next step to take. There was a moment of silence between them before he explained the rest of the plan. "To get that recommendation, we intend for a confrontation to occur while you've run into Okita-san." He took a seat while speaking. "We need a place and time for that to happen." He looked at Gintoki, who was less than pleased about another assignment.

With a deadpan expression, Gintoki looked at Takechi and said, "Now I have to find that spot, don't I?" He sighed. "Even God had one day of rest a week!" He was annoyed with having to go back out for what seemed like an unnecessary task.

"Senpai, you've rested every day for months!" Makato growled, her agitation clear in her voice. "Shinsuke-sama, why do we have to put up with him? Would it be better to have someone else do this?"

"Gintoki's skills are unmatched. If anyone can do this mission, it's him." Unusually kind words of complete confidence coming from a normally hostile source put Gintoki on edge rather than comfort him. The pressure to succeed was on but still didn't light a fire under his ass. Not yet at least. 

Gintoki knew what must be done, but any idea to put forth the plan in action was another story. All he knew was they intended to have Gintoki flex his skills in front of Soichiro and possibly Oogushi, too. He wasn't a half-bad fighter, almost unmatched except for Takasugi himself, but Gintoki chalked that up to dumbluck rather than skill. Still, Takasugi bested him in a few different matches in their youth.

"Takasugi, ya gotta stop having this complete faith bullshit. You don't even know if this will work. It's crazy as it is." For once, Gintoki pleaded, almost for his own life, but he knew that asking Takasugi to back down would be useless. His mind was set. There was no changing his mind. "Alright, alright. I'm going. I'll check out some places to see where it would be a good idea to have whatever."

Gintoki made his exit as he went off trying to find the perfect spot to have the other men confront him, the first captain, and possibly the vice-commander. He passed by place to place, mostly checking out alleyways to see how many men could fit in them, but when he got to thinking about it, he started moving onto alleyways farther away from the headquarters. The last thing they needed was to be raided and arrested.

The sun hadn't risen for the day yet, so it made surveying hard to do efficiently. But slowly and surely, the sun was rising on the day. A light haze around a new day almost set a mood for relaxation, but there was no time to relax. His inevitable induction into the Shinsengumi was upon him, and he needed to find the perfect place for some of Takasugi's men to jump out of.

With the sun up now, Gintoki took greater care to be less suspicious. Keeping the suspicion down wasn't exactly hard, but if one would have a keen eye or pay attention closely, what he was doing looked suspicious. 

Looking at alleyway after alleyway, they seemed to all blend together. None of them had qualities that stood out. Some were too bright from the sun; others were too dark to hide in, so instead of looking at more alleys, Gintoki took time to pinpoint the first captain and follow him once again, this time paying attention to the time when he passed those various locations along the route. He knew he would be asked to get the timing down as well, so he was killing two birds with one stone.

Retracing his steps from the day before, it took time but eventually, he was able to catch up with Soichiro, and he was once again with the vice-commander himself. Oh, how lovely it was to see the two of them together again. It only pleased Gintoki to see them together because it might have been easier to get that necessary recommendation. However, he knew Oogushi wasn't as trusting as Soichiro, but perhaps with what the Kiheitai had in store for them, he'd be a bit more convinced. 

Either way, Gintoki had to find ways to butter them up and get them to trust him a bit more than they did right then, which was not at all. But now was not the time to talk to him but was the time to note what time they passed the various places in Kabuki-cho. Wasting time to help the plan was essentially what he was doing.

And after a long day of tailing, he got most of the timing down. One PM was Koudoukan. Thirty minutes later was the Kamakko Club, and a mere ten minutes later was Otose's Snack House. 

After noting a few more locations, he decided to beat it before he got spotted, but that was before Soichiro turned around with his sword in his hands, aiming right for Gintoki. He barely scraped by getting his bokuto out, close to getting sliced in half by his target. "Oi, what are you tryna do? Kill me?" Gintoki shouted when he pushed Soichiro's sword away from him, but Soichiro came at him with another slice, which Gintoki dodged gracefully.

"Why are you following us?" A question Soichiro screamed, alerting those who weren't already aware of the squabble to turn in their direction.

"I'm not following you!" A lie. "I don't even know who you are!" Another lie.

"Clearly, you know we're in the Shinsengumi, and we're not your average Shinsengumi member." Another swipe came from Soichiro's sword that Gintoki caught with his bokuto.

"Oh, you're a part of those tax thieves?" Gintoki pushed his sword away once again. He wouldn't lie and say he wasn't enjoying the spar, even though it was clear that it was more like a threat to his life than a spar. "Get real," he said, as he pushed the sword back once again, "I have no business with you."

Before Soichiro tried again, Oogushi grabbed his shoulder. "Oi, that's enough, Sougo." When Sougo looked at Oogushi, Oogushi continued, "He's not doing anything. Let's just keep going."

"Hijikata-san, he's been following us for an hour. He's suspicious, don't you think?"

Hijikata continued, "Just drop it. There's no evidence that he was intentionally following us." He looked at Gintoki, narrowing his eyes with an intimidating look that did nothing to faze Gintoki "What's your name?"

"Sakata Gintoki, Hijikata-kun." Said with such spite that it was hard to tell if he was even trying to be kind.

"Watch yourself," Hijikata warned, lighting up a cigarette. "We'll keep an eye on you. C'mon, Sougo, let's go."

Once Sougo calmed down, he turned around, intrigue in his eyes, and continued walking with Hijikata to the next stop they would make.

Once they were out of view, Gintoki sighed a sigh of relief. Had he not thought on his feet, he could have gotten skewered without the mission even starting. But with the look in Sougo's eyes, Gintoki clearly piqued his interest and became interested in the enigma of Sakata Gintoki or, at least, his swordsmanship. Hopefully it was the swordsmanship because that was what he wanted Sougo to be interested in. The idea that Gintoki could be useful hopefully sprouted in his mind, and Gintoki was more than willing to feed that fire as much as he could.

His job was finished. He figured out the timing of the patrol route, and he picked the alley near Otose's Snack House, not the best it could have been, but it would have to do.

Walking back to the headquarters, Gintoki pondered about Hijikata, and when he thought of how Hijikata wasn't too hard on the eyes, he blushed slightly. Once he caught onto the blush, he shook his head, ridding any thoughts that could impact his mission. By the time he made it back to the headquarters, his mind was clear, preparing to delve into the new information he gathered.

Almost as if they were expecting him to return soon, Takasugi, Matako, Takechi, and Bansai sat in the meeting room, preparing to discuss the new information. "Oi, are we having a party or something?" Gintoki joked, or, at least, he tried. Getting down to brass tacks, his face hardened. "I found everything you need, including the time they pass through the area."

"Rather productive for you. You rarely ever take the initiative to do actual work." Matako actually praised Gintoki for once, instead of calling him useless or berating him, which was done more by her than anyone else in the Kiheitai. Even Takasugi was more passive than Matako, but she also insulted Takechi whenever he let his weirder side out, calling him a lolicon or a pervert.

"Gintoki, are you finally taking your mission seriously?" Takasugi asked, his kiseru balancing on his lips. He took a puff and blew it toward Gintoki. "The hard work is only just beginning."

"If this is hard work, then I'm not sure if I want to know what the actual hard work entails." Gintoki sat down and put his feet up on the table before sticking his finger in his nose, a terrible habit that hadn't quite died yet. "Okay, I have information on the timing of the route and also the alley we can use to plan men in for this so-called surprise encounter. Which would you like to hear first?"

Takechi looked at him and said, "Which alley is the best we can use?"

Gintoki pulled his finger out of his nose, flicking it away from his body. "There was no perfect alley, but the best one that came close was by Otose's Snack House. It was large enough to fit a decent amount of men, but it was very dark looking down it, and the view was slightly blocked by a dumpster and the stairs to the second floor of that buliding. However, it was the best I could find."

"And the timing?"

Gintoki sighed from the interrogation. "They arrive at Otose's Snack House around one-forty PM." Placing his legs back down on the floor, he looked at them before picking himself up off the chair. "Now that the snare is set, I'll start planning to befriend them the best I can. I've already piqued Soichiro-kun's interest."

Takasugi lifted an eyebrow, intrigued about this new development. "Oh?" He took another puff of his kiseru, blowing it out in front of him instead of toward Gintoki. "Okita has an interest in you now?"

"With the way he looked at me once he stopped trying to fight me, I think the spat helped the cause."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm pretty eager about this fic, so I decided to post it. I'm already halfway finished with the first half of it, so there's about 10 chapters finished already. I hope you guys enjoy this becauase it's a pleasure to write.  
> Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

The days that Gintoki didn't spend tailing Hijikata and Sougo were spent idly. He twiddled his thumbs and read over last week's  _ Jump  _ issue two… three… twenty times in between the naps he took during the day. It was a day like any other day that had him groaning in his futon from complete and utter boredom. And he knew that he couldn't trail or speak to them every day. These things took time to do or, at least, to do them right. Too many times spent running into them would seem suspicious. And if Hijikata and Sougo caught wind of the Kiheitai's plan, they might start questioning his encounters with them. 

Nevertheless, he wasted the days off in his room, doing fuck-all just because he could. He wanted to do something rather than nothing at all, but there was not a single better thing to do. But when he ran his fingers through the shagginess of his silver hair, the grease that accumulated around the follicles made it far too easy for his fingers to slip through, and the reality of not bathing for a few days finally dawned on him. 

It wasn't as if he could shower at the compound. There were no showers. None that Gintoki could use. They were restricted even from Takasgui's best spy, and no matter how much he complained, he still wasn't allowed to use them, making him rely entirely on the osens of Edo. It wasn't like he didn't like going to the osens, but the nearest one was at least ten blocks away from the compound. The walk there felt like an eternity when he was dirty, and the time in the osen itself was much less than the walk. He only went every few days and felt like today was one of those days.

Sitting up in his futon, Gintoki stretched his arms out. The sun finally set on the day, but the osen didn't close until late, giving patrons time to enjoy it in the evening. It was a good thing that Gintoki decided to go now rather than earlier. There was less of a chance that he would run into either Sougo or Hijikata, but the chance wasn't eliminated altogether. He was hoping that he wouldn't run into either person, but if he did, so be it. Deepening his already tenuous relationship with Hijikata and Sougo wouldn't go to waste, but as the mission progressed, the only relationship that seemed to be improving was his relationship with Sougo, who seemed very taken with Gintoki. Their mutual love for sadism showed, Sougo's more than Gintoki's, especially when Hijikata was around. Gintoki tried to stay out of Sougo's sadistic games that he played on Hijikata, but he sometimes couldn't help himself and would join in on the fun. Regardless of the games they played torturing Hijikata, Sougo seemed really fond of Gintoki, calling him "danna" and bribing him with chocolate parfaits when his sister was in town a few weeks ago.

That didn't matter at the moment. He just needed to get to the osen and back without causing any incidents that would give Takasugi the opportunity to take his head. Stepping outside, the warmer spring wind blew through his greasy hair, and with how much grease there was in his hair, it was a miracle that it blew. He thought his hair wouldn't even blow in the wind because of it being weighed down by the grease, but he was glad to know that that wasn't the case.

The trek to the osen was uneventful, passing by the usual places in Kabuki-cho that were still open like Otose's Snack House and that Kamakko Club. It was long after one o'clock in the afternoon, so the risk of running into them while patrolling the area had been eliminated. Still, it was nice to see the streets of Kabuki-cho alive at this time of night, even if it was to just get drunk at the nearest izakaya before having to go home and slumber all night before an early rising and work the next day. It wasn't surprising to Gintoki but still was pleasant all the same. The streets barely needed street lamps from all of the neon signs that glowed during night time, but there were ones scattered throughout the district whenever a particularly dark area was there.

Before long, he stepped in front of the osen, a bright blue sign glowering in Gintoki's face as if it was unhappy to see him here. It was close to closing, but he didn't intend to spend hours upon hours here. Just long enough to get showered, relax, and reflect on a day wasted again for a little bit before going back to the compound to reread the  _ Jump _ issue for a twenty-first time and then bed after that, even though he was still wide awake from the several naps he took today. His mission exhausted him for no reason, but it wouldn't be long until he wouldn't get nicely timed naps during the day because that day was upon them, the day of the skirmish that was planned in advance. Takasugi said it would happen soon, but neither he, Takechi, Matako, nor Deaf Man informed Gintoki on the exact date. He wondered if it would be a surprise to him too, but he would know right off the bat if it was the skirmish or not. 

The osen staff were friendly to an extent, welcoming him in as he placed his money on the tray on the front desk. He knew the exact price it was to bathe here, so he wasted no time with change, placing the exact amount that was necessary. The staff thanked him and handed him a towel to use. Taking it, he thanked them and made his way into the osen's changing room, stuffing his clothes into a locker and wrapping the towel around his waist, so he wasn't completely exposed the entire walk to the shower.

But once he was in the shower stall, all bets were off, and he unwrapped the towel from around him, placing it on the bench next to him. He turned on the water and scrubbed himself from head to toe with the shampoo and soap provided. That was what he was really here for, but the bonus of soaking in a warm bath helped to relax his troubled mind, not that he was troubled right then and there, but it especially helped during a time like that. He rinsed off, taking the shower head over him to wash the shampoo out of his hair and the soap off of his body.

Before stepping out of the shower, he ran his hands over his hair, wringing out the excess water that would prevent it from drying more quickly. But once that was all said and done, he made his exit out of the shower and entered the room with the three tubs, one for cool, warm, and hot water. And it didn't take much time until he laid eyes on Sougo, also enjoying a night in the bath, who had a rather cruel smirk on his lips. Gintoki couldn't imagine what he was thinking of, but it had to be new ways to torture Hijikata. The man loved it, as if it was his reason for existence, but nevertheless, Gintoki still dipped his toes into that bath but on the opposite end.

"Danna, what are you doing here?" Sougo asked once Gintoki took a seat on the bench in the tub.

Gintoki spread his arms out, his hands slightly dipped in the water. "I'm bathing. What does it look like?" Gintoki's irritation that he would see Sougo on his day off wore on his voice delicately but audibly. He leaned his head up as he sat and relaxed, but now his relaxation time became work time with Sougo here in the bath. "Your smile is rather creepy. Thinking of new ways to torture Hijikata-kun, Soichiro?"

"It's Sougo. I guess you could put it that way," Sougo passively mentioned.

Gintoki wondered what new way he thought of to torture Hijikata, but instead of asking, he left it up to his mind to think of what Sougo could possibly have come up with this time. Last time they spoke, he nailed a straw doll to a tree, trying to curse Hijikata's existence, which worked for some time, but the mosquito amanto was taken care of, much to the dismay of Sougo. "I hope it worked out better than the curse you've tried to put on him."

"Yeah, catching that mosquito amanto pretty much did trick in, but the blatant fear Hijikata showed of the supernatural would be pretty useful at some point."

Gintoki laughed nervously, mainly because of his own fear of the supernatural that he stonewalled the idea of even existing in the first place whenever it was mentioned around him. He didn't want to let even the slightest bit of guard down in case Sougo would get the same idea to torture him the same way. "You sure do love to torture Hijikata-kun, don't you, Soda-kun?"

"It's Sougo. You know what he's done to my sister. Can't blame me, can you?" Sougo's brief mention of his sister made him wince, an expression Gintoki saw out of the corner of his eye.

Gintoki didn't respond, neither confirming nor denying Hijikata's actions weren't commendable. He couldn't give a rat's ass about Hijikata or his love life. It didn't affect him either way, so he didn't care, even though he got a little too excited when landing his eyes on him. "Do what you think is right, or whatever the saying is."

Sougo stood up, grabbing his towel to wrap around his body. "Danna, you should really take other people's feelings into consideration when you say things." He spoke a statement that Gintoki wasn't sure if he was meaning Hijikata or himself. Gintoki said that to somewhat comfort Sougo, so that only left Hijikata. And the message was so cryptic that he thought about it from the moment it was said to the moment he went to sleep at night.

* * *

When Gintoki awoke the next morning, he was greeted by Takechi that the plan would go into action at twenty until two PM today. Of course, that was a few hours off, and they had to finalize the plan before putting it into action because the whole point of the plan was to get that recommendation they had been vying for. The stepping stone was set. That first spar Sougo and he had must have had planted the idea for him to join the Shinsengumi in the first place. The look in his eyes was far too convincing for it to mean anything else.

Gintoki yawned as he sat up in his futon. Unlike most days when his commanders woke him up, the sun was shining, the rays glaring through the blinds onto the wall. What spurred on this unusual kindness from all of them? He could only wonder what it could be because there was no way they would tell him if he would ask. It was probably one of the last few times he would see them for at least a year, if not longer.

Looking at the alarm clock he kept next to his futon, the time read around ten AM, much to the surprise of Gintoki, who couldn't believe it was that late. Takasugi never let him sleep in that late or, well, anyone else in the Kiheitai, so to see ten AM on his alarm clock, saying he was startled was an understatement. Nevertheless, he kept on course with his usual morning ritual. First, he tried to fix his hair the best he could with having a natural perm, and then dressed himself in his normal outfit that he wore when he was out on the job: a plain kimono with absolutely nothing fantastic to note about it, keeping it in line with the concept of blending in with society.

The sun's light shined against the closed blinds in Gintoki's room. He was one of the few lucky ones that had his own separate room, the others being Takasugi, Matako, Takechi, and Deaf Man. Everyone else lived in communal living areas. Not that he was complaining, he quite enjoyed having his own room to do whatever tickled his fancy at the time. Gintoki sighed. Today could be the last time he slept in this room for at least a year. Hopefully it wouldn't be longer than a year and a half. He could hear those sweet sounds now: the slice of a blade through the tender skin of their throats. It was so close that Gintoki could taste it on the tip of his tongue. And nothing could excite him more than that.

A smirk grew on his lips as he strolled through the hallways to the meeting room to hold the final meeting before the skirmish. Now was Gintoki's time to shine, and he intended to prove his worth since Takasugi's mannerisms hadn't eased on him since the war. When Gintoki wasn't met with open hostility, Takasugi still treated him coldly like their history together had never mattered in the first place. The shouting match they'd had that cleared up the misunderstanding between them, but it still didn't prevent Takasugi's passive-aggressive (more aggressive than passive) tendencies toward him.

Nevertheless, Gintoki entered the meeting room with his head held high, almost proud to finally know when he would get to show off his skills, skills he had sharpened every day for six long, long months. Takasugi was kind enough to spar with him to sharpen his skills, putting their differences aside for a few hours a night to practice.

The main brains for the Kiheitai were gathered in the room, already discussing something that Gintoki didn't quite care about. He didn't pay enough attention to it. It didn't concern him. He didn't think he needed to know the ins and outs of the plan, but he was sure he would hear every detail he would need to know to execute the plan. He had no qualms about having too much information. It was better than no information at all. He didn't put it past them to leave him in the dark, but knowing how much they were betting on his actions in this skirmish, he couldn't imagine they would keep him entirely in the dark.

"Gintoki, thank you for joining us." Takechi looked at him and then right back to the map that was strategically placed on the table in the middle of the room. There were markers on the map, little plastic pieces that moved around the map of Otose's Snack House and surrounding areas. They pushed them around as they discussed the strategy. All of what Gintoki could pick up was that the men would jump out right after Hijikata and Sougo passed that alley, and Gintoki began engaging with them. "Do you understand what you have to do?" Takechi asked while Gintoki had a finger in his ear.

"I understand, but why do I have to wait to help them? Wouldn't it be better that I show a little enthusiasm?" Gintoki asked earnestly. The logic behind holding back confused him, and it showed. There wasn't any good reason behind holding back, or at least that was what he thought.

"Showing too much interest in the fight might tip him off to our plan," Matako said, flicking her hair back with her hand. "Show reluctance to get involved will instill appreciation in them when you do jump in."

"This was the lolicon's idea, wasn't it?" Gintoki said, putting a hand to his chin. "This is all fine and dandy, but remember what's on the line in this fight." He warned, more like a spoken prayer for his own life.

Takasugi slammed his fists on the table, jumping out of his seat. "Gintoki, take this seriously!" Fire roared in his eyes along with the clear intent to kill.

It wasn't the first time Takasugi looked at Gintoki with nothing but contempt, but Gintoki knew how valuable he was to Takasugi, which only infuriated him visibly. Gintoki knew better than to let Takasugi's irritation get to him. "Oi, Takasugi, when's the appropriate time to get serious? First, you want me to hold back; now you want me to take things seriously? Which do you want?! Can't have both ways!"

Takasugi sighed. "Listen to what Takechi, Matako, Bansai, and I have to say. You trust us, don't you?"

Rolling his eyes and huffing, Gintoki flicked his wrist, signalling for them to continue on with what dribble they were speaking of. He tuned them out, deciding to let it come as a surprise. The sense of excitement coming from a "surprise" fight seemed much more realistic than when knowing exactly when and how everything was going to go down. He knew what he personally needed to do. It wasn't until he heard the lolicon say his name that he realized it was time to put the plan into action, the six long months of careful planning, training, and trickery was coming to fruition.

So Gintoki made his exit on cue, heading straight to his specified starting point. Getting there was a blur. He was too focused on what he needed to do to pay any mind to the bustling streets, almost too focused to where he ran into a young boy with glasses, who apologized for running into him. Gintoki didn't even hear him, walking past him.

Gintoki simply did not care at that moment in time about the boy or his apology. There were more important things at hand.

His starting point was a little dango shop about twenty feet down from the alley the rest of the men stood in. All of them left the building at different times to avoid suspicion with Gintoki being the last to leave.

Taking a seat on the outside bench, Gintoki hailed the old man, who ran the shop, for an order of the best dango in Kabuki-cho. He didn't expect to wait long, but in order to not blow his cover, he waited for his order.

Gintoki wouldn't say he was anxious nor would he say he was nervous, but an everlasting sense of dread loomed over his shoulders like a goblin clenching the shoulder of his unsuspecting victim, who might be raped, killed, or both, the corpse being mutilated and pillaged afterward. Something in the back of his mind screamed that this idea was not going to work as intended. Something was off. There was no proof of that, so Gintoki shoved that voice further into the back of his mind to silence what small and pitiful yelp it had.

The order of dango came, and Gintoki looked at that clock that hung in the doorway. The time read twenty after one. Twenty minutes until game time. Twenty minutes until his worthiness's proof was proven, showcasing any and all skills he had at his disposal. And he wasn't sure who it was toward, Takasugi or the Shinsengumi.

Eating his dango with the utmost of care, Gintoki's eyes never left the clock. By the time it read twenty-five after one, he had every detail of the clock memorized. It was an ordinary clock, nothing special about it, but the hands crawling on the face mesmerized him, who stared with empty eyes. The countdown to death ticked and ticked, the seconds hand and his anticipation beating in sync.

A minute passed. His heartbeat rang in his ears.

Another minute passed.

Another minute. He finished his dango and clenched the fabric of his kimono, his snow-white knuckles tearing through his skin.

Another few minutes passed, and the minutes hand pointed vertically; no angle could be mistaken.

They were around the corner, the recognizable deadpan tone of Sougo's voice was faint but audible. There was no mistaking it. A harsh, brash, melodious voice followed, the sultry inflection that Gintoki had learned to love. He stood up, releasing the kimono but continuing to clench his fists. He wanted to draw his bokuto right then and there but refrained. Timing was everything, and now was not the time to propel the plan forward. Start with some small dialogue as if their meeting was mere coincidence. Stand back, and watch them become overwhelmed by joui extremists. Jump in and save the day, as if his help was a sign from the gods that his help would be worth having. But the more Gintoki thought about it, the more he thought that even though in this plan's most basic, primal form, it would still take a miracle to convince the demonic vice-commander. He didn't trust mostly anyone outside of the Shinsengumi, and those who barely had his trust faced abuse beyond Gintoki's wildest imagination. If it was anything like Takasugi's abuse, Gintoki was in for a world of hurt.

The two voices of his victims grew louder and louder as they edged closer and closer to Gintoki's position. The ticking of the clock echoed in sync with what the voices were saying. Right before they passed by, Gintoki made his exit, blankly gazing in front of him but purposefully bumped shoulders with Soichiro, who at first was going to lunge into attack but then realized the source of the bump. "Danna, you should really watch where you're going when you're walking around." His voice, deadpan as always. "You're gonna end up bumping into the wrong people someday and get sold off into slavery or something."

Gintoki could help but laugh, and then he turned in the other direction his victims were heading. "Soichiro-kun, I have no doubts I'll be able to prevent that."

As they chatted and passed the alley next to Otose's Snack House, Gintoki saw out of the corner of his eye the men waiting, some patiently, some impatiently. Since he was the closest to the alley, he gave the signal.

The men rushed out, swords in hand, aiming for the kill, or what Hijikata and Sougo thought would be aiming for the kill.

And as if on cue, Gintoki hopped out of the way, watching them draw their swords against what looked like a hopeless disadvantage, the kind of disadvantage they were looking toward. With the action surrounding them, there was no time for second thoughts, a plan, or even to call for backup, leaving the bystanders to be the only hope they have to even win this fight. And the scowl that Gintoki wore made it far too obvious that he was in on the ambush, but Sougo and Hijikata were far too distracted to pay attention to him. They were more likely trying to figure out the probability of their survival rather than to the man off to the side who seemed to be getting a kick out of watching them become outnumbered ten men to one.

For two guys who never face a war, they held their own against Takasugi's guerilla warfare ragtag clan. Regardless of their performance, the lack of manpower stood in their way of victory and successful arrest of joui extremists. In a brief moment, Gintoki caught Hijikata's attention as he was clashing swords with one of the many men Takasugi put up for this task, and without skipping a beat, he yelled, "Yorozuya, help us out, or I'll arrest you!"

Gintoki scoffed. "On what grounds?!" He wasn't doing anything wrong to his forefront knowledge beyond sending three men to their deaths in a few months' time. "You've got nothing on me."

"How does 'Death of a Bakufu employee' sound?" Words spoke with spite in the midst of the battle of a lifetime baffled Gintoki.

Huffing, Gintoki drew his bokuto, his time to shine, and the fear of Takasugi's men when they saw his bokuto aimed for them excited him because they of all people knew what was coming the moment he touched his bokuto. Each of them had fought him, but he came out as victor. And the sight of his bloodthirsty eyes as he lunged forward toward them…. It froze them in their tracks before also lunging toward him. But they and Gintoki knew the outcome of this battle. First things first, Gintoki had to defeat the remaining men not focused on Hijikata or Sougo, sparing their lives to run back to the Kiheitai to inform their bosses if the plan worked, which it would without a doubt in Gintoki's mind, especially when he caught a glimpse of Sougo's cruel smile after witnessing the joui cowering in fear once Gintoki stepped onto the battlefield. The plan was working, much to Gintoki's relief, but now was not the time to relax. He needed to drive the point home that he would be of use to the Shinsengumi.

And with a few quick slashes and the knockouts of a few men who were the sacrificial pawns to the plan, the rest sprinted away, tails between their legs like it always was when each of them fought the legendary Shiroyasha.

After exerting so much energy, you would think that Gintoki would be panting, but he trained hard and long for this day. He didn't even break a sweat. He replaced the bokuto in the band of his obi and peered around him to see his brothers-in-arms in handcuffs and Hijikata wiping his hands clean. In a moment of uncharacteristic sympathy, Gintoki prayed to the gods for the safety and health of his comrades but knew it was all for the greater good. He heard the click of a lighter and a deep breath. About-facing, he witnessed a puff of smoke, breathed in his direction.

"Yorozuya, where'd you learn to fight like that?" A skeptical Hijikata seemingly remained unconvinced of the obvious prowess the Gintoki showed off, the arched eyebrow invisible under those cute v-shaped bangs.

Gintoki placed a hand on his chin, a smug look on his face. "Is Hijikata-kun jealous?" His words slithered off of his tongue, full of contempt. "The neighborhood kids used to play tricks on my mom, stealing her lawn ornaments and trashing the garden she worked hard on." Sticking his finger in his nose, he finally relaxed once they started walking again when the joui were picked up and taken to their ultimate fate. "Taught'em a lesson, and they never came back."

A hum came from Sougo. "Hijikata-san, we could really use Danna's skills, don't you think?"

Still puffing on his cigarette, Hijikata mumbled, "Let's talk to Kondo-san and see what he says."

Gintoki's lips curled into a small smirk. Let the games begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back. With CBCB finally finished posting, this is my main focus now. It's still my major focus writing-wise, but I'm also focusing on another WIP that's not close to being done like this WIP is. This WIP has about 10 or so chapters to finish before it's finished.
> 
> Either way, enjoy! Because while my life is absolutely falling apart, I can get some joy that people still enjoy my writing.


	3. Chapter 3

There was only a table and twelve tatami mats in this room, double the size of Gintoki's room at the compound, and Gintoki was told to sit and be quiet as he, Hijikata, and Sougo waited for the commander to come in and discuss the possibility of Gintoki joining the Shinsengumi. Should the meeting go well, the new member would join that day, making it easier for Gintoki to play his next moves.

Gintoki wouldn't say that his sense of accomplishment diminished when the commander of the Shinsengumi walked into the room, who had to be a gorilla in disguise. The mannerisms, body type, and even hair matched a gorilla, and there just was no way for Gintoki to get past the idea that he would have to follow this man's commands for the better part of a year, if not longer. He found the boisterous and friendly nature of a man who was considered feared amongst his men off-putting. Hell, Gintoki found Hijikata far more intimidating than Kondo, but not by much. He wondered if Hijikata was the one to round up everyone's attention during meetings they would have before heading off on patrol for the day. Either way, neither Kondo nor Hijikata intimidated him. Not even Sougo's penchant for sadism frightened Gintoki, but the lack of fear was a good thing.

Kondo bowed and then shook Gintoki's hand in a greeting. Kondo seemed far too excited to meet him. It was too bad that Gintoki knew what would happen in a few months' time, and what would happen to those particular three was far more frightening than they could possibly realize. A killer and his three victims all sitting in a room together, playing nice for the time being. Hijikata's hesitant niceties were far more troubling than Gintoki could have expected. He wanted Hijikata to like him enough to join, but he could sense the hesitance that Hijikata had about him joining the ranks. He was, of course, the least trusting of the three men combined, but Gintoki was determined to have Hijikata realize what a good idea it was for Sougo to suggest him to join.

"So, you're the Sakata Gintoki I've heard much about?" Kondo said, taking a seat on the other side of the table next to Hijikata, who lit up a cigarette even with no ashtray in sight.

"Yes." A short sweet answer with other similar answers that he was to answer during the line of questioning that would surely follow. Hijikata demanded Gintoki to not speak of anything unnecessary that could possibly put his life at risk, not that he knew of his background to begin with. No one in this room other than himself should know who he was in the shadows.

Kondo put a finger to his chin, clearly thinking deeply about the situation that his subordinates put him in. And Gintoki could only wait to get the answer for which he was hoping. As far as he was aware, there shouldn't be a soul in the Shinsengumi who should know about his past and present in the Kiheitai, and if there was, this whole plan would go to absolute waste. Hell, he would probably be executed right then and there, and that thought made Gintoki clench the kimono under his fingers. "Sougo recommended you to join after helping him and Toshi in a pinch. Says your skills are unmatched and how you scared the piss out of those joui that got caught up in battle with you."

Gintoki gulped silently, the lump getting caught in his throat and making it hard to breathe. He didn't know why his hands were shaking. Had Sougo known about his background, clearly he wouldn't have even thought of suggesting him to Kondo but more or less trying to figure out what tune to play on his rib cage once it was gutted from him. "Yeah, I did help 'em out. It was the right thing to do." Oh, if only they knew how planned it was, but what they didn't know would hurt them.

"If I offered, would you join?"

Gintoki grunted a laugh. "Sure, why not."

"Then, welcome aboard."

* * *

The following days breezed by like high winds on a blustery sea. Sougo took it upon himself to gauge and train Gintoki in the ways of the Shinsengumi, but it didn't take long until Sougo had to admit that Gintoki's skills were on another level compared to his own, which only solidified his reasoning for asking him to join. And Gintoki couldn't say that he was holding back, not like he ever held back in any fight he ever had. Not now, not in the joui war. Full force every time.

The one thing that Gintoki had learned to hate was the early mornings that were  _ every _ morning. There was no rest from them, and if he even remotely slept longer or missed meetings, there was violent retribution from Hijikata, who took no mercy on him. Once he was threatened with seppuku, Gintoki stopped sleeping in late. He couldn't mess up his chances being closer to the finish line.

Every morning felt earlier and earlier to Gintoki, who was normally sleeping until noon. The early mornings were hard at first, but once he started waking up every day before dawn, it became second nature after weeks and weeks and weeks of early mornings unlike his sleeping patterns in the Kiheitai compound. He had to do what he was told otherwise the plan wouldn’t progress naturally.

Another early morning arrived, and Gintoki was awakened by the vice-commander himself, who decided the kindest wake-up call was to kick him across the room. "Oi, it's time for the meeting." A guttural growl bellowed in his room without the slightest bit of decency to at least give the man enough time to open his eyes. But when Gintoki thudded into the wall, there was no falling back asleep after that. A rude awakening that was most likely necessary for how many times he had been late for their warm-ups and meetings before everyone dispersed into the wilderness. Gintoki couldn't quite grasp why they had to be up before dawn, but he didn't question nor bring it up to his superiors, knowing fully well it would end up as some violent retribution from either Hijikata or Sougo.

Hearing his door slide shut, Gintoki collected himself as he blinked his eyes two… three… four times before picking himself up off of the ground, stretching in the meanwhile. The long day of duties were ahead of him, including the morning training, which he, and even Sougo, felt it was unnecessary to attend. Sougo personally sparred Gintoki in a mock match, which Sougo lost to much of his surprise, the title of strongest swordsman in the Shinsengumi now belonging to Gintoki. Not that he minded. It did have an amazing effect on the rest of the men, them wanting to take a shot at fighting Gintoki, even though they all knew Gintoki would claim victory.

Gintoki, no matter how angry he was about the early mornings, was thankful to have his own room. He was grateful but did take the time to wonder why he got his own room. Perhaps Sougo used his influence on Kondo to spare Gintoki the humiliation of communal living areas like the rest of the men, beyond the head honchos. A sense of uneasiness arose from that train of thought, so Gintoki banished it from his mind. He needed to focus.

The infiltration was done, a checkmark in that box. Next up: befriending Hijikata.

Gintoki decided to focus his attention on befriending the vice-commander. That line of thinking came from the overtly trusting nature of Kondo, who seemed to trust whoever Hijikata trusted. Two birds with one stone. Trust, trust, trust. Trust away, boys! Gintoki welcomed it with open arms. It only made his duty easier.

Grabbing the garb that Gintoki had grown to hate, he dressed himself as the sun began peeking over the horizon… He was late! Taking hold of his newly-smithed sword, he sprinted out of the room, down the hall, and into the spacious training area where the Shinsengumi spent their mornings, to much of the irritation of the vice-commander who led the exercises. "You're late!" Gintoki could hear Hijikata's jaw clench those words from twenty yards away.

"And what makes you think that I'm late on purpose when I had a personal wake up call from the vice-commander himself?"

Gintoki should not have said that.

Within a minute, Hijikata drew his sword, walked over to Gintoki's position, and pointed the sharp, shiny blade toward Gintoki's back, exhaling the puff of smoke he inhaled only seconds before. "I'll give you one chance to speak again." The men surrounding them had stopped their exercises before Hijikata ordered them to continue.

Gintoki felt the tip of the blade against his back and the murderous intent that came along with it. He stayed silent, just for a moment. He wanted to make sure that the next words spoken were the right words to say. Even the slightest bit of provocation could be seen as insubordination and would result in either his dismissal, or worse, his ritualistic suicide that Hijikata was quite fond of threatening his men over even the most trivial things that shouldn't require such aggressive action.

Nevertheless, Gintoki had to think of a great way to ease the vice-commander's aggression or pass it off onto another unsuspecting victim. Feeling the blade twist on his back, he raised his hands in surrender. "My apologies, vice-chief. My manners can be quite unpredictable when I'm awakened suddenly." A half-sincere apology that was just credible enough to pass as fully, empathetically sincere. And Hijikata must have bought it, the blade falling away from Gintoki's back. He relaxed his arms, dropping them to his sides, and breathed out a silent sigh of relief. That was the last time he said something snarky to the vice-commander.

* * *

It was a little odd that a bird was the one who woke Gintoki up on his much-needed day off. He just wanted to sleep in and spend the day at the bathhouse right down the street. But the incessant pecking noise at the thin glass of his window wouldn't allow it. He grunted, trying to ignore it the best he could at first, but the pecks persisted, slowly growing louder and stronger, and before the bird would break his window, he threw the covers off of him and looked over to see a cute tiny scroll attached to the bird's neck.

Takasugi had to have been getting desperate for contact with him if he was now sending instructions by carrier pigeon. Sure, he hadn't checked in with the Kiheitai for a couple of weeks, but these things took time, an excessive amount of time, but time nevertheless. Once the bird saw Gintoki's glaring eyes, it stopped, perhaps a little frightened for its own life. However, it stood firm on the ledge, awaiting Gintoki's action.

Figuring it must be important, Gintoki leapt to his feet, finally feeling the heat of the sun and roasting because of it. He could only groan at the thought that he had to sleep and work in such conditions. Unlike his room at the compound, which was blessed with air conditioning, his room here cooked him thoroughly. He wasn't informed if this was the Shinsengumi way of life, but he could only assume that it was.

Opening the window, Gintoki wiggled the attached note off of the bird's neck and unwrapped it, taking care not to attract any attention to himself or the bird.

And once he read the note, his assumption was right.

_ Meet at two at the compound. Be discreet. _

Gintoki didn't have to be told twice about inconspicuousness. Discreet was his middle name. Discreetness was essential in his job description.

So doing what he does best, Gintoki crumpled up the note to dispose of it whenever he would be at the compound. He didn't want to leave a papertrail in case someone decided to root through his garbage. Every move he made here had to be with the utmost of care. He stretched, the ball of paper tightly grasped in his hand, but then began dressing for the day. He made his exit shortly after.

The walk to the compound didn't take long. Twenty minutes tops. But all Gintoki wanted was to go to the bathhouse, or movie theater, or his favorite restaurant, or just anywhere with air conditioning or even a fan. It wasn't subtle, Gintoki's frustration, but he did his best to hide it. He wasn't in uniform, so he was much more inconspicuous than he would be wearing it. He would say he was acting normally, but now he must be careful not to be seen, mainly by his new brothers-in-arms.

When he stepped into the compound, Gintoki wasn't sure if anyone was here. It seemed empty, void of life beyond his own. The hallway had gotten musty since he was last here, even if it wasn't long ago. Walking deeper into it and into the meeting room, he was puzzled to see that the gang was all here, peering up at him whenever he opened and closed the door. "It's not two o'clock yet," Matako mentioned, grumbling really, which Gintoki shrugged off.

Takasugi took a puff of his kiseru before blowing it in Gintoki's direction. "Did anyone follow you here?"

Gintoki took a seat in the nearest empty chair. "Not to my knowledge. I don't think anyone's suspicious about me yet." He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. "What's this meeting about? I have things I wanna do on my day off."

"You don't  _ have _ a day off…" Matako shot back but missed her target because it went right over Gintoki's head, the arrow planting firmly into the wall above him.

"Yeah, yeah. Now what do you want?" His impatience wore on his sleeve, unlike his heart with the care he took for no one to witness.

Takechi spoke next. "We need to get you credibility amongst the Shinsengumi. The more credible you are, the more likely they'll hold you to a higher standard compared to the other lowly participants."

Gintoki shot his eyes open in disbelief. "So, we're gonna sacrifice more of our men,  _ our manpower _ , in order for this to progress? Isn't that a bit unnecessary?" He leaned back into his chair, a bit more focused on the topic at hand. He realized that there would have to be a few pawns to fall into the Bakufu's grasp, but this just seemed needless at this point. There was no reason for them to immolate more victims amidst the fire they'd started to fuel.

"Gintoki, a few men, compared to the many that will join our side when they realize there's a chance for the Bakufu to fall, is an expense that we have to pay." Gintoki knew that Takasugi was a bit heartless, but this was too much even for himself. He was the one putting his neck on the line, so if this mission failed, those men's lives would be wasted.

It just seemed unnecessary. Gintoki would build his reputation perfectly well without having to pawn off a few of their men. "This isn't needed. I can get along just fine without having to give up the lives of our brothers-in-arms." An earnest declaration of his own abilities.  _ Trust me _ is what he wanted to say to them, but he knew it would go in one ear and out the other, completely ignorant of his say in the matter.

"They've already agreed to it," Matako said.

"You've already talked to them about it?" In disbelief, Gintoki shook his head. How could they so easily agree to such a situation that could result in their deaths? "I won't go through with this! I refuse!"

"Your refusal won't sway us from what we intend to do." Takasugi's slight irritation in his voice was inevitable. "If you're in front of the vice-commander, first captain, or anyone else, you won't have a choice."

Gintoki leaned his head back, sighing out of frustration that he had absolutely no say in the matter. Takasugi was right. There was no way he couldn't go through with it if he was on patrol with anyone in the Shinsengumi, but the mere thought of throwing away lives for no reason other than to get the glory and spread it within the Shinsengumi only made him sick to his stomach. Grunting, he picked himself up and began to walk away from them, only muttering a few unintelligible words that they wouldn't care to hear. He bet they hadn't even planned on telling him when this would happen. Just let it be a surprise, so he wouldn't have to be on edge like his mission for introduction into the Shinsengumi. He exited and slammed the door close.

* * *

Gintoki couldn't say he felt his best going out on patrol for the following days. The anticipation from not knowing when he and his fellow Shinsengumi members would encounter more of Takasugi's men, who were so readily willing to go down in a firefight, Gintoki found it hard to believe. The mission had to succeed for those men's sake. Otherwise, the guilt that Gintoki would hold would be too great to bear, crushing him underneath what guilt he already held.

Still, he made his exit along with Sougo and Hijikata, who wanted him to come along for the sake of camaraderie. He didn't imagine that anything important would occur the one day he went out with them, compared to the times with the nameless faces he went out with usually. It wasn't exactly at the back of his mind, the men threatening Sougo and Hijikata. He wouldn't put it past Takasugi and company to initiate this kind of plan while he was with the vice-commander and first captain on patrol.

Nevertheless, now was not the time to worry about that little snag that was bound to show up eventually. Although the probability was high on this particular day, he didn't know when this would occur, and when it did, he would have to act as if he had no idea this would happen in the first place.

Sougo and Hijikata chatted idly as they walked through the streets of Kabuki-cho on the same path they would take on an ordinary day. Nothing was too out of place, but nevertheless, Gintoki stayed on edge as they inched closer and closer to the spot where they first met. It was already deduced by Gintoki it would happen on this path. He had no doubt in his mind that it would, so the question wasn't where but when. When would those pawns throw their lives away for the sake of the "greater good", whatever the greater good was. He had no idea what that entailed the breakdown of the Bakufu. A peaceful installment of a new government? Or chaos and anarchy without an iron-clad leader. Perhaps the new leader would reinstate swords and peacefully stand up to the Amanto Aristocrats, whose self-righteousness turned pitiful humans into slaves, cogs in the Edo machine. The status quo only gave rise to new joui extremist groups, rising from the ashes of former ones.

Never mind the future, Gintoki thought, Focus on the here and now, so there would be no surprises when I leapt into battles.

Passing the Kamakko club, Gintoki assumed accurately that the time was around one-thirty in the afternoon, the blazing sun shifted slightly to the west, not directly at twelve o'clock position. And with the sun beating down mercilessly on everyone outside, Gintoki suffocated in the heavy, thick uniform he was ordered to wear when performing duties. And Gintoki hated Hijikata for it. He would be the first to die by his hands.

They passed the Kamakko club without incident. Onto Otose's Snack House, the place of origin of his evil plan. Every step was taken by shaking legs. He hoped that neither of the other men noticed his well-deserved nervousness. The anticipation was much more than he could handle.

One-forty arrived as well as the two Shinsengumi members and the outsider, who were just feet away from the alley, and when they passed by, he saw the men. He blinked his eyes, not below imploring them not to jump out and attack. Two attacks in the same area involving the same three men on the defensive side would be suspicious. Hence Gintoki's hesitation. They were smart, Hijikata and Sougo. They would immediately figure out something was afoot, something sinister beyond their wildest dreams.

The best news of the day was that the men didn't jump out, preventing any issues that could have risen. And Gintoki breathed out a sigh of relief. But now he would have to withstand Takasugi's wrath for not progressing the plan. It was better this way, more secretive, more surprising, more deadly.

And with the patrol route completed, Gintoki split off from Hijikata and Sougo to his room to change and make haste to the compound, getting the lecture out of the way early. He knew it was coming, so there was no need to procrastinate the inevitable.

Stepping into the compound, Gintoki was met with a swing of Takasugi's sword, just close enough that his nose was a half-inch from the tip being sliced off. He expected violent retribution and dodged it gracefully. "Oi, I already know you wanna take my head. I'm here to talk it out, so quit doing that!" He said those final words as he dodged more swipes from Takasugi.

"Why did you have the men stand down?" Takasugi asked, still swinging his sword, marking up the walls with how narrow the hallway was. "We had an opportunity!"

"Meaning jumping out of the same spot they did only a few weeks ago?" Gintoki drew his sword, stopping the forward assault. "If they would figure out that I'm with you guys, they're going to have my head!" He enunciated those final six words, trying hard to drive the point home. The game had just begun, and even the slightest wrong move could result in a game over. Gintoki's prayers must have been answered because Takasugi stopped swiping at him. His blade dropped to his side. "Now that's more like it." Gintoki resheathed his sword.

Takasugi placed a finger on his chin. "We'll use the dojo a few blocks before then." Gintoki knew he wouldn't get an apology; Takasugi was too proud to give apologies to his lowly subordinates and especially Gintoki. The words "I'm sorry" never left his lips, even when they had been runts running around with swords that were far bigger than their own bodies.

"Listen, this jumping out and attacking thing isn't gonna work out how you expect it to," Gintoki said, "The best thing you can do is let me build my own reputation. Let  _ my _ skills do the work. It'll be a piece of cake that way, and multiple lives won't be entirely in danger; just mine." And with that, Gintoki made his exit, deciding to spend his day in any other way than clashing swords with his commander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished chapter 11 tonight, so I'm celebrating by posting chapter 3. I went through my outline, and I'm already over halfway through this fic already. Hopefully it won't take me as long to finish this as it did for me to finish CBCB. 
> 
> Things seem to be calming down in my life, even though I'm still pretty miserable. It's mainly my want to write and my inability to concentrate at this point that's driving me crazy, but I'm hoping that now that I was able to chuck out over 2000 words, it might be easier for me to write now. However, I do want to start watching more anime because now that I've been writing since last year, I haven't been watching any anime hardly. I still want to get to 300 total watched anime. If you have myanimelist, you can find me @ yoroyazu on there too.
> 
> Anyway,  
> Thanks for reading! Things start getting a little juicier from here on out, so I hope you enjoy it. :D


	4. Chapter 4

The ability to see through staged tactics was a treasured skill in the Shinsengumi that no one seemed to have. The men rushed out the moment Gintoki made eye contact with them, recognizing them. The swords of the men were clashing left and right, and it became hard to hold back his own reluctance to send his men to their deaths. He couldn't afford to expose himself. Not now, at least. Blades clashed, and men were incapacitated on both sides, even with the Shinsengumi on the side of Lady Luck. Lady Luck rigged the game for the Shinsengumi, or at least, Gintoki. He couldn't help but feel angry about it. His refusal did mean nothing. Takasugi intended this, so Gintoki was at a loss and had to fight.

The fight was over, the men captured much to Ginotki's chagrin. He had learned what would happen to them, and he didn't envy them. The torture that would happen, Gintoki couldn't even fathom it. Succeeding at his goal was only more necessary with the loss of men they had taken from both incidents. He couldn't say he had been sleeping well at night since the first one, the thoughts of what might have happened to them played in his mind, a reel of what-ifs and could-bes. 

Hijikata and Sougo arrived shortly after the situation came under control. A unlit cigarette balanced between Hijikata's lips as he eyed Gintoki, and he lit his cigarette, breathing in and then out. An uncomfortable smile hung on Gintoki's lips while getting the up-down from his commander. He wasn't one to normally be uncomfortable but there was no denying that Gintoki's lucky streak of fighting the same foe twice in front of the Shinsengumi was odd, to say the least. However, was it odd enough to say it was a pattern that would continue or just two unlucky encounters that were one-off things?

Taking the cigarette from between his lips, Hijikata looked over at Gintoki, his eyes full of spite. Gintoki had not yet gotten the vice-commander to like him or even acknowledge him beyond the few times Hijikata woke him up with a kind kick to the back into the wall. Gintoki gave him an awkward smile as they watched the remaining men that didn't escape get hauled away to an undisclosed location that surely would not be pleasant. "How is it that you had two encounters from the same group of men?" Hijikata asked. Whether the question was rhetorical or not was a question Gintoki could only assume the answer because asking would only show insubordination. He showed insubordination enough times already that it wasn't worth taking the risk.

"Bad luck, I guess?" Gintoki's palms faced upward as he shrugged his shoulders.

Hijikata huffed and went back to what he was supposed to do. Gintoki could only have a silent sigh of relief. Any more pushing of the topic could have brought up more unnecessary things said than there had to be. Nevertheless, he waited for whatever Hijikata and Sougo wanted him to do.

* * *

Gintoki would say he spent often more time snooping around the barracks than not. Gathering what intel he could, he couldn't stay in one spot for long, otherwise the other men might question why he was snooping around the commander and vice-commander's rooms. He could neither stay away nor could he remain oblivious to what they intended to do next. Passing by the meeting room inconspicuously, Gintoki stopped for a moment to listen in on what the commander, vice-commander, and first captain were planning for their next steps against the joui rebels.

Since the door was closed, most of what was said was unintelligible, muted mumblings of whatever was said. Gintoki tried slowing his pace of passing to see if he could make out any words better than he already had, which was not well at all. He couldn't stay long since the vice-commander had an uncanny ability to sense anyone lingering at the door.

"He's a good fighter; we could use him at the raid, don't you think?" The kind words of Sougo, who had taken a liking to Gintoki since they first met months ago.

Gintoki heard a sigh. "Don't you think it's weird that he was caught up in a fight between both us and the same group of joui?" The smell of smoke coming from the room was gone. "I think we should monitor him rather than fast-tracking him to a ranked position."

"Toshi, we don't have any proof that he's with a joui extremist group." Kondo was such a kind soul; it really was too bad his head would be off his shoulders here in a few months. The sense of calm that Gintoki felt when Kondo and Sougo took his side over Hijikata, it helped with the anxiety that his identity would be discovered. "Let's just see how he does for now, and if things get suspicious, we'll conduct an investigation into him."

Footsteps were coming in Gintoki's direction, and before he could move away, the door slid open to reveal an infuriated Hijikata with a glare in his eyes just for Gintoki. "Oi, who said you can listen in on this conversation?"

Gintoki put on his fake nervous smile, being caught in the act of spying. "Vice-commander, I was simply curious as to who was in this room, and I was having a hard time figuring it out since I couldn't make out any definitive voices." He put two hands in front of him in an attempt to try to calm Hijikata. "I swear I didn't mean any harm."

Hijikata grabbed him by the collar and leaned into his ears. "Don't think you've bought my trust yet, just because you have theirs." He let go by shoving Gintoki into the other wall.

"Oi, Toshi! There's no need for that." Kondo said as he rushed over and helped Gintoki up. Hijikata said nothing as he walked away. "Sorry, yorozuya. It's… hard to earn his trust."

"Does he always threaten people he doesn't like and/or trust?" Gintoki asked.

"Yamazaki usually gets the brunt of it since he disrespected me when we met him."

"Ah. So it's a 'respect for you' kind of thing, then?" Once Gintoki was on his feet, he thanked Kondo and Sougo as they went on their way.

A raid was happening soon, and the one thing on Gintoki's mind was whose faction would be the target. On one hand, Katsura's faction had more activity lately since the Kiheitai was laying low in the shadows because of Gintoki's current position as a Shinsengumi member. On the other hand, the Kiheitai was the more deadly of the two main factions because Takasugi wanted to destroy the entire world rather than just bring down the Bakufu.

Gintoki had already done his patrol for the day, not wanting to spend any more time on the streets than he had to. He still left the barracks though to go to the bathhouse not too far down the road from there. It was still fairly hot, and the stuffy uniform he was forced to wear during patrols only suffocated him. So when he could strip out of it and into a yukata, he would.

The bathhouse was only a few blocks away, and most Shinsengumi members used it whenever they were feeling like going to a bathhouse rather than the other communal bathing facility situated in the barracks. Gintoki never grew accustomed to those. He didn't intend on schmoozing with anyone but the top three officials, which befriending Hijikata was going to be much harder than he thought. He tried being friendly with him, but it didn't seem to help. The only thing he could think of that would help him on his quest to befriend Hijikata was just to perform well and let his abilities do the talking. Perhaps the vice-commander will come around or at least be kinder to Gintoki.

When he entered the building, Gintoki paid and stripped in the changing room before dipping his toes into the tub. Though he tried to relax, his mind raced with thoughts of his next steps. He had to get Hijikata to like him. That would only make his mission easier, and he brainstormed ways that he could try to befriend him. But all of those ideas were dead on arrival. There was a flaw to all of them.

A lightbulb lit above his head. The best, and in his opinion the only, way was to just keep impressing Hijikata, and hopefully he'd come around for comraderie's sake. He leaned his head back against the edge of the tub, stretching his arms and legs, as he was the only one in the bath.

However, not for long, as the door to the room slid open. A groan could be heard as Gintoki turned around to see Hijikata standing in just a towel. It was truly a sight to see. The grooved abdomen and well-defined muscles were contrary to the daily consumption of mayonnaise on levels that Gintoki determined as dog food. It was disgusting, but he had to see it every day. Still, seeing Hijikata so exposed was certainly more unnerving than Gintoki could have possibly thought. A slight blush flushed on his cheeks as he squirmed in the water, and Hijikata took his seat opposite to Gintoki.

Neither man said a word to each other. Gintoki had been extra cautious as of late to not say anything that could cause violent retribution from his commander. "You're to be at a meeting with Kondo, Sougo, and I tomorrow after the morning meeting." Hijikata mumbled at best, but his words were loud and clear in the empty bathhouse.

"Alright, I suppose," Gintoki said. He said that but meant  _ Don't got much of a choice in the matter, do I? _ As another silence overcame them, Gintoki wondered if he should invite the vice-commander to eat. He sighed as he fought with himself on whether or not to ask. Picking himself out of the tub, he looked at Hijikata after wrapping the towel around him, "I'm going to eat. You wanna come? I know a great place."

Hijikata stared at him before picking himself out of the tub as well. "It better be damn good food." They both went into the changing room and dressed themselves.

The spot Gintoki talked about was a little mom-and-pop shop that made his order exactly as he wanted. The Uji-Gintoki bowl, of course. His mouth watered at the thought of eating it again before another tasty item popped in his mind. He quickly shook that from his mind before continuing to walk to the diner.

Kabuki-cho wasn't too far of a walk from the bathhouse they were at. The diner was maybe ten minutes away. However, the walk was painful. An awkward silence enveloped them, and Gintoki was partially distracted from the view from earlier. He wouldn't say that he didn't enjoy seeing Hijikata nude, but it lingered in his mind far longer than he would have liked.

Hijikata must have heard his gears turning before saying, "Stop thinking so much. Your brain's gonna fry itself.

Gintoki laughed. "That's rich coming from you."

"Whatever you're thinking about couldn't possibly be as important as what I normally would be thinking of."

You'd think, dear vice-commander, Gintoki thought, but you'd be surprised what's on my mind at any given moment. His smirk was invisible to the man walking next to him, and he thanked the gods it was. He couldn't imagine the interrogation that he would experience had Hijikata seen the smirk. 

After a few more blocks, Gintoki showed the remaining way to the diner, and once they got there, they sat down and ordered, Gintoki ordering his usual. They chatted idly with each other with Gintoki slightly riling up his vice-commander a few times in some fair fun. They ate as their meals came, and once they ate, they went on their way but split off at the restaurant where Hijikata reminded him of the meeting between them in the morning. Figuring it would be best to let Takasugi and everyone know about the meeting he was to attend the next day, he made his way to the compound, only to hope that he wasn't going to get killed for not communicating what had been going on in the Shinsengumi as of late.

* * *

The twelve-tatami-mat room was the venue for the meeting, and Gintoki was slowly growing accustomed to it since he had been in a fair share of meetings here between his induction and now this meeting he was meant to attend. He waited outside the door as he was told to do so by Hijikata, and he listened to the barely audible mumbling on the other side of the closed door. He could only make out Hijikata's urges to not put whatever plan they had in action that it was a bad idea and only bad things would occur if Gintoki was a part of whatever they were talking about.

Nevertheless, the mumbling stopped, and Sougo slid the door open to invite Gintoki inside. He kneeled in front of them on the other side of the table that sat between him and them. Kondo's arms were crossed and a rather self-satisfying smile was on his lips while Hijikata's had a rather defeated one. Sougo's face was deadpan as always, seemingly detached from what was occurring. "Toshi didn't want to do this." Kondo started out with, humming a  _ hm _ . Of course,  _ Toshi _ didn't want to do this.  _ Toshi _ didn't want anything to do with Gintoki, but apparently even his arm could get twisted trying to make his commander happy. "We want you to participate in a raid tomorrow."

Gintoki arched an eyebrow in response, downplaying the excitement he was feeling. "I haven't heard that we were doing a raid."

Hijikata gritted his teeth. "That was on a need-to-know basis."

Gintoki nodded as he continued to listen.

"Since it seems like you haven't been properly informed, we're doing a raid on the Kiheitai tomorrow." Kondo seemed particularly happy to spill this information, a wide smile appearing. "We'd like you to participate."

"And if I refuse?"

Hijikata's fists clenched, and his mouth wore a scowl. "Then seppuku for you." It would only make Hijikata happy, seeing Gintoki dead on the ground, his guts exposed.

Gintoki grunted. "Guess I don't got much of a choice then, do I?" The only thing he could think was to warn Takasugi right away. There was no dilly-dallying around to tell him. It was happening the next day whether he warned him or not. But to save the skin of his own comrades, he had to tell them tonight.

Hijikata's arms were now crossed. "No, you don't. Come to the dojo whenever you're finished with patrol. You're dismissed now."

Gintoki leapt to his feet and hurried on his way to patrol, so as soon as his teammates and he were done with patrol, he could phone Takasugi and let him know what was about to happen.

The patrol was severely uneventful. Not even as much as a parking ticket was issued, even though that was something they wouldn't deal with. It pained Gintoki to have to walk around the same parts of Kabuki-cho every day, even though he was coming to know the people who lingered on the route.

And after they were done, Gintoki split off from the other men, making his way to the nearest payphone that Gintoki tried to call the burner cell phone the Kiheitai kept a hold of in case phone calls were necessary. The payphone was off to the side, sitting eerily in the shadows of the buildings, an odd position for a public utility. As his eyes darted around, looking for anyone familiar, he continued to listen to the incessant ringing that led to the default voicemail message, stating the number was unavailable to answer and should leave a message at the beep. He tried again… and again until he ran out of coins to insert into the payphone and finally left a message on the voicemail that he was sure they never checked in the first place, especially if it was uncertain who the number calling belonged to.

He had done all he could. He had no change left to try another payphone, and it was a terrible idea to try and call from another public place, especially in the barracks. Gintoki thought that Yamazaki might be lingering outside his door because of his new hire status just in case he was planning to overthrow the Shinsengumi from the inside out.

Making his way back to the barracks, he took his sweet time getting there. He hadn't an idea what Hijikata wanted him to do, but nevertheless, he deduced it likely had something to do with training with the singular clue of meeting him in the training dojo. 

The dojo wasn't used by the commoners in the Shinsengumi. Typically, only Kondo, Sougo, and Hijikata made use of it, especially whenever Sougo wanted to take his frustrations out on Hijikata, and Hijikata was game for trying to beat Sougo in a spar. However, this didn't usually work out the way Hijikata wanted it to because he just wasn't on the same level as Sougo, and Sougo just barely scraped by against Gintoki. So whatever reason Hijikata had to try and train with Gintoki was beyond Gintoki's comprehension.

Not that he minded. He thought it would be fun to show off his skills and how valuable he would be to the raid, even though it was on his own faction. If his voicemail got through, the Kiheitai would be ready for the first strike.

When he showed up at the barracks after a half-hour walk, Gintoki walked to the training room to see Hijikata sitting at the table toward the front, smoking a cigarette. Gintoki felt he saw Hijikata smoke cigarettes far too often, but even those in the public knew that he was the chain-smoking vice-commander of the Shinsengumi. Sougo had that smoking ban pass for the barracks and then over the city, but it didn't last too long because Hijikata went right back to smoking cigarette after cigarette.

"What took you so long? You were done at least forty-five minutes ago." Hijikata said, aggravation evident in his voice as he ashed the cigarette in the ashtray that sat on the table, his snow-white knuckles almost breaking through his skin.

Gintoki lifted a finger to his chin. "I had things to take care of before I returned," Gintoki said as Hijikata stood up. Both were still in their uniforms. Gintoki had reason more than Hijikata to still be in uniform. Both had swords dangling at their side. "What do you need? I wanted to go get a parfait while the sun's still up."

Hijikata stepped in Gintoki's direction, staying just far enough to maintain a bit of space between them while also being close enough to hear each other without shouting in the large space with sliding doors for walls. He sighed for a moment, releasing the swelled irritation within him. "As you know, we're doing a raid soon," he said, "We have to see where you are skill-wise, so we can place you properly in the waves of men."

Gintoki groaned, "Why's it gotta be you?"

"Shut up, and take this," Hijikata said, handing him a bokuto. And without much consideration for Gintoki, he removed his coat and his shirt. He looked over at Gintoki who stood there dumbstruck. "What're you doing? You'll stretch out your uniform if you use it for this."

"Wouldn't we wear it normally for a raid?"

"Doesn't matter. Just do it."

Gintoki grunted, confused by Hijikata's demand for the removal of his shirt but did as he was told, dropping the bokuto to the ground and removing his shirt. The shirt fell to the floor, and he kicked it to the side. He couldn't bring himself to look at Hijikata, his eyes drifting to and from his face, torso, lower half, and the floor, unable to decide on where he'd rather land his eyes. "Alright, this is embarrassing, so can we get this over with?"

Hijikata didn't speak but thrusted his bokuto into Gintoki's direction, Gintoki narrowly dodging the tip of the blade. He swiped a few more times, Gintoki dodging each one while backing up until he found his footing and finally managed to slash his sword back. He went on the offensive, giving Hijikata a run for his money. He knew he was better than Hijikata, but matching his skill to Hijikata's was an unfair fight. Gintoki had only fought Shoyo-sensei in his youth, and then Takasugi whenever Gintoki had beat him in a fair fight that Takasugi didn't take kindly. He had challenged him day after day until he at one point beat him. Takasugi was the only person on Gintoki's skill level, the score they kept never being more than one win more than the other.

The last slash of Gintoki's bokuto knocked Hijikata's right out of his hand. It slid across the floor and out the open door. They froze still for a moment, close to one another. Gintoki could see the sweat that drenched Hijikata's chest, and it took him aback for a moment, unable to speak for a reason that he couldn't find. He reached out, placed a hesitant hand on Hijikata's arm, unable to resist how well-defined it was compared to his own rough and calloused hands. His breath hitched in his throat.

Hijikata didn't jerk away. If anything, he froze under Gintoki's touch. Gintoki found it confusing that he didn't jerk away from him, berating him for touching him like he did, but he didn't. He stayed still, his hands trembled. "What are you doing?" he whispered, so low-toned it was barely audible. Almost like he didn't want him to stop. Perhaps the reason he was so hostile toward him was because something stirred in him, something alien that he hadn't known about himself or about the situation at hand. After a moment, he shook Gintoki's hand off, standing up straight. "I have to go," he said, hurrying out of the room, leaving his shirt in the dojo without regard.

Gintoki stood still for a moment, questioning his own motives for touching Hijikata in a way that he had never touched any man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I've been in a slump for a few weeks now. I'm hoping that maybe posting will help fuel my desire to write, but I can only hope that. So here's chapter four, I hope you enjoy it. It only gets spicier from here on out
> 
> Enjoy. And thank you for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

A raid should usually be conducted in a discreet and timely manner as it always had for the Shinsengumi. Most, if not all, raids went according to plan with little room for error and no improvisation required. Hijikata's plan not only required brawn but brains to put forth the effort. The plans were neither hard nor easy. Just the right amount of manpower and effort needed to perform at top form.

And that was how this plan Hijikata came up with was supposed to go. Gintoki knew this just from being informed in the morning how the raid was supposed to happen. It made sense and was reasonable. Minimizing the loss of life on either side and capturing as many Joui possible was the way it was supposed to go. But the little intervention Gintoki gave the night before did wonders on the plan, which it would have went one of three ways: the Kiheitai would be ready for a fight, anticipating Hijikata's move on their compound; the Kiheitai would flee the compound, leaving it empty to much of the surprise of Sougo, Hijikata, and everyone else in the Shinsengumi; or they would simply be unprepared, Gintoki would feel the wrath of Takasugi for not alerting them ahead of time so they could prepare. And with no way to communicate with them beyond pay phone calls out on the street, Gintoki was far more nervous for the fate of his men because if they hadn't fled they would easily be outnumbered by sheer force of how many men that Hijikata had employed for this raid.

Sougo and Hijikata stood outside the cars of the first wave of men, which Gintoki was in placed among them, a decision Hijikata made from their spar last night when Gintoki had a clear, concise victory between them. Gintoki's skill outranked Hijikata's, Hijikata noticing that and decided to place him among the strongest. Sougo was the leader, as was expected from his own skillset being the strongest among the Shinsengumi. It wasn't a hard choice to decide to place the strongest men first. However, it was likely they would have the largest chance to die by the hands of the enemy, especially if that compound still had people and they were on the offensive, rather than scattering into the sky, the ship their only safe haven amongst the citizens of Edo.

They readied their marks before Sougo gave the signal before running head on into the compound, the other men, including Gintoki, followed suit. It wasn't long until they all realized that there were no other people in the compound beyond themselves. Nothing was misplaced. Not a single thing was taken from the compound by the Kiheitai. They must've decided to get out of dodge before it was too late. There was no time for them to collect anything of value except the plans for their next big attack after the successful mission Gintoki was put up to.

Gintoki's room was exposed by Sougo, who cocked his head to the side and furrowed his eyebrows. He must have found it rather familiar in a way as Gintoki's room in the barracks had an odd familiarity to it, wanting something to remind him of his home rather than starting fresh. The piles of  _ Jump _ lay in a jumbled mess with his futon still not made from the last time he slept in it.

A sly smile was not visible on Gintoki's face when he realized that they had escaped, and there would be no raid for the day. Most of the men anticipated a big fight and were left mostly dejected from the lack of excitement. They went back to their cars and were escorted back to the barracks for Hijikata to do damage control.

Gintoki, however, was left to his own devices and had the rest of the day off as expected. He wandered around mostly and knew he would have to call the Kiheitai to check in with them and make sure that they camp out for a new headquarters. But that phone call would have to wait as he overheard Yamazaki say, "I'm telling you they were just there last night."

Hijikata grunted in response, lacking any empathy for the man when he had done his job correctly.

"Vice-commander, there's something fishy about this. How would they have found out the night before the raid that we were aiming for them and the next day they were just gone?"

Gintoki held his breath for a moment, trying hard to pretend that he wasn't there listening outside the door. No one had passed by or was nearby asking questions. Still, he stayed alert for any incoming footsteps, so he could act as if he was just passing by the room rather than eavesdropping.

Hijikata exhaled with a slight sigh. Gintoki could feel the tension in that room, and he was thankful he wasn't bearing the brunt of Hijikata's frustration. "Are you trying to insinuate that someone is feeding information to them?"

"It's not out of the realm of possibility, unless they employed a fortune teller to predict the future."

Hearing footsteps coming his way, Gintoki started walking away from the door quietly, not to alert Hijikata or Yamazaki that someone was outside the door listening. As he got further away, he resumed his typical walking and grunted whenever Sougo passed by him, who didn't ask any questions as to why he was near this particular area of the barracks where he had no business being over there. The overly trusting nature Sougo had of him almost bothered Gintoki, but he told himself not to form any bonds with any of the men that were in the Shinsengumi. The bonds weren't meant to be, so there was no sense in creating them or at least being honest about his intentions with them. He was there to feed information to the Kiheitai and to kill Kondo, Hijikata, and Sougo. There was no need for true bonds, only the false ones that Gintoki employed.

After Gintoki returned to his room, he changed out of his uniform and put on his casual clothes, needing the inconspicuousness of the average outfit to leave the building to meet up with the Kiheitai. Once out of the barracks, he promptly made the phone call several blocks away and told them to meet him somewhere. He needed to inform them he had to essentially go AWOL for the time being until the suspicions were cleared that no one was feeding information to the Kiheitai from the inside. Surely the rule of traitors would be enforced, and seppuku would be obligatory.

Still, Gintoki made his way to the meeting point where the ship picked him up, and he entered the meeting room where his comrades were waiting for him for details of what to do next. The air in the room felt hot, which could be because there was no air conditioning on the ship or because there was a vibe of almost hostility between his comrades and himself regardless of saving them in the nick of time before they would be arrested or, worse, killed. He did his best to keep his composure while Matako's hotheadedness became overbearing when he told them he had to disappear for a while.

"What do you mean you have to disappear? We need you to continue to give us information on these types of things."

"Their spy already figured out that someone's been communicating with you, and I'm the one who sticks out the most right now. I have to keep my head down before I have to commit seppuku for being the traitor."

Matako gritted her teeth while Takechi spoke. "Calm down, Matako."

"No! We shouldn't be calm in this situation! We finally have an in, and we need to use it as much as possible for our own plans."

"He's right, though. If he's discovered, he will have to either betray us or commit seppuku," Takechi said, offering only slight reassurance to her, "What do you intend to do next, Gintoki?"

"I just need to lay low for a while. Not do anything that makes me stick out more than I already do," he said, "I'm the new guy, and their raid just went badly after I just joined. Doesn't that look bad to you?" A shot taken at Matako, who seemed only slightly offended by it. She grumbled as Gintoki continued. "Once the suspicion dies down, I'll be in contact."

And with that, Gintoki made his exit, which he looked around to make sure no one followed him here. In the clear, he made his way back to the barracks where he relaxed for the rest of the day. He only wished that he was able to go get Jump, but as part of the forty-five regulations, Jump was not allowed in the barracks. And he was left with just laying in his futon until bedtime, and then he would sleep.

Hijikata had no inhibition when it came to sliding Gintoki's door open with a force great enough to rip the door off its hinges. Gintoki looked at him stupidly, only to see that he had his casual clothes on and not his uniform. "Come. We're going out," he demanded with no room for objections.

Gintoki pursed his lips, huffed, and grabbed his sword. He caught up to Hijikata who had already started lighting a cigarette before even making an exit from the barracks. Why he wanted Gintoki to come with him was a reason that Gintoki couldn't even fathom as Hijikata had made his opinion on him clear. The man hated Gintoki, and Gintoki knew it. This demand only muddied the water on Hijikata's judgement and intentions. 

The walk to whatever destination that Hijikata had in mind was in pure silence other than the noise of the bustling city going on around them. Hijikata hadn't mentioned a word to Gintoki about where they were going and why they were together in the first place. Gintoki wasn't sure he wanted to know. He thought that perhaps Hijikata would explain what was going on, but he never did. Instead, Hijikata went inside the bathhouse that Gintoki would normally go to on his days off and asked, "Are you coming or not?"

Not wanting to put up a fight with his commander, Gintoki went inside, and it turns out Hijikata was kind enough to pay for both of them to use the bath rather than leaving Gintoki to pay for himself. An oddly kind gesture that caused blatant confusion in Gintoki's head. Still, Gintoki knew not to pass up a free meal, even if it was from the one person he never would have expected.

The bath temperature could have been a little warmer, but it didn't bother Gintoki. He wanted to complain. However, the moment Gintoki opened his mouth to speak, Hijikata shot an evil look that silenced him. He still had to be friendly with Hijikata, so there was no reason to anger him anymore. The silence was awkward, but speaking in an informal way between superior and subordinate seemed much more nerve-wracking than anticipated.

Gintoki just stared ahead at the wall, not daring to look in Hijikata's direction. But even for a moment, his eyes shifted to Hijikata, whose eyes shifted away from him the moment they locked eyes. He could have sworn a barely visible blush appeared on Hijikata's cheeks. His cheeks went aflame at said discovery. And he had to pray it wasn't as visible as it felt. Still, he found himself wanting to know more about Hijikata. Regardless if he wanted to or not, he couldn't ask, barricaded by his rank, his inability to speak around Hijikata, and Hijikata's open hostility toward him.

Pressing his lips together, Gintoki stewed in the silence between them. He wasn't sure if it was safe to look over at Hijikata, who also continued to sit in silence. And as time went on, it became less awkward and more comfortable. "Can I ask you a question?" Gintoki asked. He found himself wanting to know more about this mysterious man who seemed to only dread Gintoki's companionship even though this was Hijikata's choice to spend time together in the first place.

"I guess."

"What made you join the Shinsengumi?"

"Kondo."

"Just Kondo?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because I'd follow him wherever he wanted to go."

Such a simple answer showed the depths of his loyalty to Kondo, a beloved man in the Shinsengumi. And such an answer was on point for Hijikata's loyal personality to answer with. It confused Gintoki, as he found himself loyal to no one. Not even to Takasugi, who he'd go to the edge of the world with.

The conversation died down once again and left them in a comfortable silence that Gintoki seemed to enjoy. It was nice to be able to sit with someone and not have to fill the air. Refreshing as it was, why it felt that way with a man who was committed to open hostility toward him was something he couldn't answer. It surprised him whenever Hijikata stayed still and wasn't in a hurry to make an exit.

If Hijikata wanted to do this again, he wasn't opposed to the idea. If anything, it made him more excited to spend time with him. He wasn't too hard on the eyes, face and body-wise, and he became softer. Hijikata spoke gentler words. The occasional banter wove between those words, but it wasn't as often as the bickering was before.

Hijikata picked himself up, exposing his lower-half to Gintoki more than it already was. It felt like, to Gintoki, that he was flaunting. For whatever reason Gintoki couldn't come up with. Everything about Hijikata was beyond comprehension. The blushes, the gentle words, the lack of hostility he was full of before. All were minute compared to when Gintoki first met him and joined the Shinsengumi. "Come on, the movie's gonna start."

"Movie? I didn't agree to that."

"Well, tough. You're going."

"I don't want to! I'm tired and have things to do."

"Shut your mouth, and let's go."

Whatever reason Hijikata wanted to stick this night out longer, Gintoki could only imagine. It wasn't a bad thing to him. Gintoki found himself wanting to spend more time with Hijikata, but the temptation of his futon was far more inviting than spending time with Hijikata, who he found captivating, interesting in every sense of the word. His mind, soul… perhaps body when Gintoki found himself staring a little too long at and below the waist, to which he promptly shook his head and averted his eyes elsewhere before he was caught looking at a place that was taboo, even for him.

They dressed in a quick manner, and the walk to the movie theater didn't take long at all. It was practically right down the street from the osen that would be their regular spot for times to come when Hijikata would invite him out, whenever he wasn't busy, of course. Hijikata once again purchased the tickets, not allowing Gintoki to cover his own. Gintoki thought this might be a ploy for him to owe Hijikata in the long run, but it was too quick to make that judgement right away.

Still, they took their seats to see  _ My Neighbor Pedoro _ , which Gintoki didn't want to see and Hijikata did. They hadn't gotten snacks, nor did Gintoki feel hungry for them. He hadn't eaten all day, but Gintoki found no desire to want to eat and that his stomach wasn't rumbling in the first place.

The room darkened as the movie started. And the sitting-in-silence was once again comfortable. Gintoki squirmed in the seat beside Hijikata, whose eyes stared directly at the screen, unyielding and not a blink, before finding a comfortable spot and relaxing for the rest of the movie.

The movie wasn't too bad, almost too childish for Gintoki's own taste, even though he still read  _ Jump _ every week and still felt too old to read  _ Jump _ at his age. But it didn't stop him from enjoying the movie. He wanted to reach over and grab Hijikata's hand. Anything regarding his feelings toward Hijikata confused him, and he wanted to jump ship at the first sign of trouble. However, he couldn't run back to the Kiheitai without completing his mission, as he would be the first to be punished for following through on his mission, but the conflicting feelings that budded in his heart were slowly starting to interfere with the mission at hand.

Small sniffles sounded around him, not from just behind him but beside him as well, and he peered over at Hijikata whose hand held a tissue that he held up to his eyes as he blotted his eyes of the tears slowly dripped out. The movie wasn't even that sad as Gintoki watched, but he found himself unable to look away from Hijikata, whose own eyes met Gintoki's, and they gazed at each other as the movie progressed. It only made the desire to grab Hijikata's hand worse for Gintoki. A small smile crept up on his face, and he held back from his hand reaching out, unlike he did twenty-four hours before.

He couldn't. He just couldn't reach out to touch him again, even though he wanted to. He lost track of what he wanted to say, the words skating on his tongue before being swallowed into his stomach, never being led out by his tongue. The hint of adoration behind Hijikata's normally intense eyes glazed over, becoming more pronounced the longer they locked eyes.

Gintoki jumped to his feet whenever Hijikata reached out to touch his hand, a response from his touch from the day before. "I-I-I have to go! Sorry!" He said a little too loudly for being in a dark movie theater with the movie playing.

And with those words said, he sprinted out of the movie theater, losing in an ocean of conflicting feelings and longing for Hijikata's touch one more time. It was beyond recognition, the feelings he had. He hadn't had as much of a crush on anyone beyond that cute weather girl that he watched every day. Her smile captivated Gintoki's heart, and then only crushed him when he found out she was getting married. But Hijikata, of all people? It was beyond understanding for Gintoki to think that he could even remotely have the same feelings for him as he had for Ketsuno Crystel, a name that was household among all in Edo.

He sprinted down the street, eager to escape who he left in the movie theater. He had no destination in mind. He had no one to rely on. He couldn't possibly talk to Kondo or Sougo about what happened in the movie theater, and he couldn't possibly talk to the Kiheitai as he just cut off communication with them earlier in the day. He had  _ no one _ , an underestimation on his part because among the millions and millions who lived in Edo, there was not a soul he could confess these feelings to that bubbled within him.

The only solace he could find was amidst the panicked sprint throughout Kabuki-cho, Gintoki landed in front of his normal mom-and-pop shop without even thinking that he was heading in that direction. He looked left and right, just to make sure there wasn't anyone who couldn't recognize him. He knew the shopkeeper would recognize him, but she had nothing to do with the situation at hand. He wouldn't bring it up, and he wouldn't offer to talk about it whenever she read his troubled face when he walked in and sat at the bar in front of where they cooked the guests' food.

"Gin-san! It's been so long since you've been here!" She greeted cheerfully, seemingly glad to see Gintoki, no matter how distraught he was.

Gintoki half-laughed. "It's only been a few days."

"Sure it has, but you're normally in just about every day, so when you're not here, it's noticeable.

"I'm sure that's likely." Gintoki sat his elbows on the table, his hands grasped together. He didn't have to say his order. It was already well-known in the restaurant he wanted the same thing every time he came in. 

"Where's that guy you came in with last time? He seemed like a nice fellow."

Gintoki winced at the thought that the last time he was here he was with Hijikata. He shouldn't have offered to take him to his only oasis amongst the desert of animosity of Edo and the Shinsengumi. "I don't wanna talk about him tonight."

"Oh? Did something happen?"

"Nothing worth noting." Gintoki could only lie in this situation. He couldn't tell her about the feelings that he had nor the last two interactions that he had with Hijikata, nor the spark between them that set Gintoki's cheeks ablaze. He hadn't felt romance before, and he certainly didn't want it to feel it now, especially for the target of his mission, and the mission being his death. "Don't worry about it. It'll pass, I'm sure," he said, in hopes that he would be able to rid himself of these feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking a break right now! I'll be back sometime soon!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and enjoy!


	6. Chapter 6

Yamazaki was a man who Gintoki knew to actively ignore. Even as Gintoki ceased communications with the Kiheitai, he was still guilty by association. Said guilt could not be so easily read in his eyes. However, he wouldn't say he would be able to hide his smile when asked directly. A sly smile, to be sure, but he wouldn't be able to contain himself. So the best thing he could do was hide from Yamazaki the best he could. He couldn't hide forever, even if he wanted to.

The day started off as average. Training, meeting, patrol, the usual gambit. When Gintoki got back to his room, a presence lurked outside his door. "Get out of here, Jimmy," He said, not even looking up from his book.

The door opened to reveal it was indeed Yamazaki on the other side. It was a rare occurrence for someone to accurately predict who was snooping on the other side that left Gintoki unconvinced that his cover would have been blown after some trivial manner. Even the most oblivious person would be able to tell it was Yamazaki behind the door. "Danna, you're quite perceptive, aren't you?"

"It was easy to guess when you're the go-to when it comes to spying. Espionage is your specialty, is it not?" Gintoki finally looked up. Yamazaki's expression was both curious and stuplified at Gintoki's uncanny ability to know when someone was snooping around. "What do you need? I'd like to get back to my book without interruption."

Yamazaki froze for a moment and then placed a hand on the back of his neck. "Nothing, never mind," he said, going on his way, clearly going to report to Hijikata about what transpired. Gintoki was, of course, the most suspicious person in the Shinsengumi with his new hire status. Still, he wondered why it took Jimmy until now to check on him, but nevertheless, Gintoki had ended contact with the Kiheitai for the time being. Nothing to report, nor any reason to contact them with. With ceasing contact, he was alone, bearing the full burden of his mission with no handler to protect him. He didn't mind. It wasn't the first time he worked alone, and it wouldn't be the last.

A bug on the windshield was what this was, which Gintoki properly ignored, or even squashed if one looked at it that way, and went back to his business. He wished that he could have followed Jimmy to wherever he was in such a hurry to be. He stayed against his more sleuthing nature. No need to put more eyes on him than necessary. All he could do was wait for the right opportunity, whenever that opportunity may be.

Yawning, Gintoki closed the magazine, closing his eyes to take a well-deserved nap after a whole day of nothing.

* * *

Whether or not Gintoki was a part of the Kiheitai was a question Yamazaki had no answer for. All of the other men checked out. Nothing. That was what Yamazaki had, and he was meant to meet with Hijikata to talk of his intel soon. Soon as in a few days' time. However with nothing left for him to check on, he had to today. He had followed Gintoki around, camped outside his room, even talked to him to see if he would leave any subtle hints to his allegiance or even his reason for joining the Shinsengumi. A life of moral and social obligation did not seem like a good life for such a carefree and laid-back personality that Gintoki had. He had no sense of obligation to begin with, so why would he join anything to give him such an obligation was beyond Yamazaki's understanding.

Every conversation they had, Gintoki slyly shifted the topic from him to Yamazaki, who got swept up in the conversation and babbled on. When Gintoki skillfully exited the conversation, only then did Yamazaki realize that Gintoki had switched topics and now knew far more about him than he should. A spy shouldn't be so easily moved, but Gintoki's charisma just influenced him to the point that they were friends when he knew nothing about Gintoki. Frustrating was what it was. He was hiding something that he kept so well guarded, he didn't let a soul know. The question was what he was hiding and why. Surely, there was someone he could confide in around the barracks, but when Yamazaki asked other men, they had no knowledge of anything useful to Yamazaki. Whoever that was remained elusive. The only person he could think of who spent any time with him was Hijikata for reasons unknown. Hijikata of all people. Hijikata, who only socialized with Kondo, Sougo, and sometimes Harada. He didn't even socialize with Yamazaki beyond barking orders at him. Yamazaki was his most trusted spy, yet Hijikata only grunted half-words at him or attempted to decapitate him for breathing the wrong way.

Yamazaki paced outside the smaller-sized meeting room that was conjoined to Hijikata's personal quarters. He was waiting inside to hear about what information Yamazaki had gathered from his task. And with the lack of information, Yamazaki's head would be the dish for dinner that night. Dinner for the dogs, of course. No human would even see the spy who was incapable of gathering information, and that was the sole reason of a spy.

As empty as the hallway was, the echoing of the floor boards creaking did nothing to mask Yamazaki's presence. It was the one where the end of the plank was directly in front of the middle of the door. Even the slightest step would ignite a loud screech from the board. And Hijikata likely heard each one. His hearing versus the paper-thin walls created the assumed outcome of Hijikata's wrath and Yamazaki's commitment of ritualistic suicide, a death of honor. Still, he hadn't been called for on the other side. However, he couldn't rule out his assumption. He was excellent at judging the possibility of outcomes. One of the sole reasons he wasn't dismissed yet. He was valuable but not. Useful but not. And he couldn't decide which one he was. Useful or not, he was still here, his oath of loyalty still ringing true.

He had to go in. Regardless if he wanted to or not. The best spy of the Shinsengumi stalled at the door. His death lay on the other side. Anyone would be nervous. Hijikata's unofficial title was the demonic vice-commander, and his personality matched that. Cold, ruthless, unyielding. He would have made a great assassin had he decided to become a ninja instead.

Yamazaki left out a sigh. He couldn't prolong his death any further. He was already ten minutes late, and Hijikata was not a patient man. He took hold of the door and slid it open little by little. On the other side, the six tatami mat room had little color and natural light. Aided by the light that shone through blocked by the curtain, Yamazaki kneeled in front of the table that separated him from Hijikata, who sat there with a lit cigarette between his fingers. An exhale followed an inhale. A deeply exaggerated sigh came from Hijikata. He flicked the ashes from the tip into the ashtray, the lone item on the sitting table. "I know why you're late," he said.

Yamazaki looked away but only saw drab walls painted beige. No pictures. No signs that anyone even used the room. Still, he said nothing.

"You don't have anything for me, do you?"

"No." Yamazaki pulled at his collar.

"So everyone was checked out. No one showed any sign of defection." Hijikata puffed on his cigarette, exhaling once more.

"Well…" His sweat beaded on his forehead.

"Ah, so you do have an idea of who it is."

"It's the new recruit. He's the newest of everyone, and this hasn't happened before he joined," Yamazaki said, "But he's clean. When I wasn't following him on his days off, you were with him." Choking on his words, he just barely breathed out what he said. It was hard for him to realize that there was nothing more he could do as everyone checked out. He wiped the sweat from his forehead while he listened on.

"You're right. But he's not the one," Hijikata said, ashing the cigarette and lighting another.

"He's the only person I can think of."

"He's. Not. The. One." Each word timed perfectly, enunciated for effect.

"Perhaps your opinion is biased." Immediately, Yamazaki's face contorted in fear. "No! I mean…" He panicked, fumbling his words. He squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the wrath of Hijikata. The seconds passed by for a moment, and nothing came. Instead, he got a face full of smoke.

"I'm not biased," Hijikata stated, "He isn't the one we were looking for."

Peeking an eye open, Yamazaki said, "Were?"

"Yes. Your mission is complete. You're dismissed now." Hijikata waved Yamazaki off and went back to his room.

For a moment, Yamazaki couldn't move. He zoned out. Nothing could have prepared him for this situation where Hijikata  _ doesn't _ rip off his head for not giving him what he wanted.

That's when he realized it: Hijikata was emotionally compromised.

* * *

Before anyone else came or noticed him, Gintoki slipped back into the shadows. The dark hallways allowed anyone to sneak around if they wished it, and it was perfect for gathering intel needed to complete his mission while also preventing anything from happening to the Kiheitai. The conversation between Hijikata and Yamazaki confirmed that Gintoki was investigated and was now in the clear. Of course, he should tell Takasugi about it, but as a precaution, he decided to stay away from them for a while. Just in case Yamazaki decided to follow him a bit more.

Slipping out of sight of the oncoming men, he held his breath, not to alert there was a person out of place in the area. He was supposed to be in his room. No one except the top three officials and their guests were supposed to be in this wing of the barracks. It still didn't mean Gintoki would stay away.

The men passed, and Gintoki breathed out. A successful infiltration of an already successful infiltration. Once out of the left wing, he resumed walking normally in the hallways rather than continuing to sneak around. How drab the walls were, not a single splash of color. Beige walls with brown woodwork that haven't been painted in eons, the cracks from the buildings settling appeared abundantly. Walking these halls undetected was no easy feat with how almost every board creaked under his feet.

Passing through the halls, Gintoki padded his way back to his room. Upon returning, he sat down on his futon with the reason behind Hijikata's total disregard for Yamazaki's concerns. He blushed at the thought of Hijikata and shook that thought out of his head. How could he just blatantly ignore the warning signs? Gintoki, after all, was the new recruit who should be trusted the least. And there Hijikata was, not even wanting to hear about it.

He fell backward, now laying back on his unmade futon. Gintoki couldn't help but continue thinking about Hijikata, the person his thoughts lingered on the longest. He hadn't heard or seen from Hijikata in a week or so, and he was getting anxious to see him, although he had spent weeks without him. He didn't like to go this long without him. He shut his eyes. Just for a moment. But he couldn't for long. The nightmares of years past tread in his mind, the lasting effect still haunting Gintoki's mind to the present. Invisible scars that he kept hidden from everyone, including Takasugi, whose broken heart was worn on his sleeve as well as bloodthirsty vengeance. Gintoki was angry about what happened to Shoyou but he hid it much more than Takasugi. His feelings remained hidden. Anger, heartbreak, grief. All remained in the shadows of Gintoki's soul that he didn't dare let seep out. But as with all feelings, building up into a volcanic explosion that came in the form of drinking binges and his favorite hostess from the hostess club he attended regularly. It was a thirst he never could quite quench, perpetually parched of any way to cease the torment of his past. Shoyou was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it. He could neither accept it nor take it back and reclaim what was wrongfully taken from him.

His eyes shot open, and while he didn't scream, the terror showed through his sweaty body and the fearful look in those red eyes of his. The sweat on his forehead gave far too much away of his vulnerability. He held his breath and then gasped for air. The tightness in his chest was extreme for someone who had no breathing issues.

He wished it to be over. It had been ten years since then, since that awful day he wished no person would have to go through. The memory haunted him even to this day. Nevertheless as long as he didn't have any visitors or anyone barging into his room, it didn't overly bother him. Not as much as it should.

The ability to leave these memories behind, he lacked. And no matter how hard he tried, he had no way to rid himself of them.

* * *

Another day of work behind him, and Gintoki was unsure of how else to spend his alone time. Hijikata worked his life away, and Gintoki had spent so much time with him, it was strange to spend so many days by himself again. He wanted to curse Hijikata for making him dependent on someone else for entertainment.

Hijikata wasn't a topic he wanted to take the time to think about. He had to shut him out, but the strength to do so was nonexistent. Still, he had to at some point. Any bond he would have with those three would interfere with the Kiheitai's plan. When, though, that would happen was a question that Gintoki couldn't answer. Asking Takasugi or any of the men in the Kiheitai wasn't a viable option as he hadn't made contact with them in weeks, and even then, they would either say to continue bonding with them or execute the plan. Gintoki hadn't a clue now if he would be able to do it now. The feeling he had toward Hijikata… it was inexplicable, which wasn't something he liked or appreciated. He was always force-fed "The Shinsengumi are evil" bullshit on a day-to-day basis so often now that he got to know them, it almost made it hard to consider his mission. The mission's death knell. Impending doom that he might not be able to discern the fact of the mission to the fiction of his ties to Kondo, Hijikata, and Sougo, who all befriended him to ease the transition to a regimented life.

A knock at the door, and Gintoki jumped at the sound of it. Most people left him be for one reason or another, so he didn't have many visitors, to say the least. Whoever it was, there was no reason to disturb him. No raid. No patrol. Nothing that required immediate attention. He grumbled before calling out to the person on the other side of the door.

Once the door slid open, only then did Hijikata come into view as shocking as it was to see him at nearly nine o'clock at night. It wasn't all that surprising as other than Sougo and Kondo, no one knocked at his door. Who knew what those other two were doing. Fuck-all if it was those two. Sougo slacked off at any given day of the week, and Kondo? He had been stalking some poor girl after she gave him even the slightest bit of attention and affection. Both leaving Hijikata to do the heavy lifting bureaucratic bullshit that took away most of his free time. It irked Gintoki. The more time he spent with Hijikata, the more he wanted to dig his claws into him, only prying them open after he was cold and stiff. "What are you doing here this late?"

"Let's go."

"Where to?" Feigning ignorance, Gintoki found himself unable to move as it always did whenever Hijikata knocked at his door. This phenomenon, Gintoki knew it was inexplicable. This was no ordinary sensation. He had never felt it before, except for that one time he encountered the cute weather girl Gintoki took a liking to. She was cute, timid, well-behaved. He thought of how cute she would look tied up to his liking. Quite the opposite to Hijikata, who Gintoki found cute, but that was the only similarity Hijikata had with the Edo-famous Ketsuno Crystel. How could he be interested in Hijikata? How could he even tolerate a man who snapped at even the slightest irritation? He had told Gintoki to commit seppuku several times but never truly followed suit.

"Out."

"I ain't going unless you tell me."

"I'm not asking. I'm  _ ordering _ you to come out."

Groaning, Gintoki could only thank the stars that he was still dressed instead of in his pajamas. He picked himself up and grabbed his sword. "You better have a good goddamn reason to drag me out this late." Not making his words with pleasantness, he at least expected some undue backlash to the crassness of what he said, but instead, Hijikata merely grunted in reply.

Gintoki followed him out and what felt like across the entire city to a hole-in-the-wall izakaya that Gintoki had no idea about. A hole-in-the-wall bar was often unknown but often somewhat had a name for itself. This was the textbook definition of a no name entity. No customers were inside. The staff was only one person. Empty as it was, it was the perfect place to lose your name or title or even your entire identity for a few hours.

Once they stepped inside, the aromatic snacks they had for sale tempted Gintoki's sweet tooth. He hadn't had any in months. The craving never went away since Hijikata banned sweet treats in the barracks, explaining it was unbecoming of samurai to indulge such a courtesy from the modern world. Of course, that didn't stop Hijikata from sickening the men with how much mayonnaise he consumed. Dog food was dog food, and Gintoki wasn't excited to witness it once again. It wasn't the first time nor it would be the last.

They took their seats at the bar as the bartender greeted them. Only an order of the finest sake this dump had was what Hijikata ordered. Gintoki had no say in the matter. However, he didn't mind as Hijikata, for whatever reason, took Gintoki into consideration.

Silence befell them, waiting patiently until the bartender placed their order on the table. All Gintoki could think about was the strange friendliness Hijikata had exhibited as of late. No bickering. No nasty looks, nor exasperated sighs from the witty comebacks that Gintoki shelled out. Only self-satisfied smiles, which were almost borderline affectionate. He blushed at the thought, which Hijikata asked, "Why are you blushing?"

Gintoki shifted his smile to the side, pressing his lips together. "I've been having naughty dreams about that weather girl on TV," he lied. Fibbed, really because he had had naughty dreams but they were of the man next to him. Different scenarios per dream, rarely repeating except for the preceding passionate kiss that he longed for. He wanted it so, but his restraint stopped him. "I'm wondering if it's a prediction rather than fantasy."

"When have you ever had the chance to even be near her?" he asked, "Not like she'll show up at your doorstep, begging you to kiss her." The order came, and Hijikata poured his drink. Gintoki did as well, quickly swigging the drink down, in hopes to quench the hunger for Hijikata's lips. It wouldn't happen as there was no way.

"Perhaps someday, she will."

"Not in your lifetime, nor your children's lifetime."

"Who said I wanted children?" Another quick swig from Gintoki, and one long and slow drink from Hijikata. "You need to drink faster or this night would be for nothing."

Hijikata chuckled, the cup raised to his lips. "Why's it matter? We're not gonna do anything together after this anyway," he said, "A lot of work is coming up. You already know about the raid that's gonna happen. There's gonna be tons of paperwork involved. I won't have time for you."

Said in such a way that sounded regretful, Gintoki knew better than to overthink the intonation of his voice. He didn't regret his job, lifestyle, or the path he chose. Why would he ever regret meeting and spending time with Gintoki? Why would he even care? Even worse, why would he regret  _ not _ spending time with him? The answer was clear he only said that to cushion the letdown. But when their eyes met briefly, they read the same. Softly melancholic like he actually enjoyed these awkward moments between them.

But the moment was short-lived. Two oddly familiar men stepped into Gintoki's peripheral vision as he swirled the sake in the cup. He, at first, ignored them. The menacing aura they radiated, however, told him they required his attention. He uttered he needed a moment to Hijikata, who must have not noticed or ignored them. He stood up, feeling for his sword, and then made an exit with the two men, who he recognized as his comrades. Two nameless faces amongst the sea of men who followed Takasugi even into hell.

They stood outside the door off to the side, invisible from the patron of the izakaya. Gintoki didn't beat around the bush and got right to the point. "What do you need?"

"Takasugi-donno requires you to come to the ship. He and the higher-ups request an update." The shorter of the two men stated. He shifted onto his other foot.

"I can't do that right now, and he knows how precarious the situation is." He wasn't sure if he said that to remain undercover or because he wanted to protect Hijikata. Staying silent to Takasugi wasn't an option. The mission had been going to plan, and the end was near. Their deaths were imminent, and Gintoki wondered if it was the right thing to do. Sure, he wanted to bring down the Bakufu. Still, Kondo, Sougo, and Hijikata were caught in the crossfire. Gintoki cared for them, more than his desire to complete his task. Perhaps, more for one than the others.

"He won't accept that answer. And we'll get the brunt of his anger."

Gintoki snorted in distaste for the order. It sat with him wrong. He pursed his lips. "Whatever. Let's go."

But before taking off, he stuck his head in the doorway and said, "I got something I need to take care of. I'll see you at the barracks."

"Whatever," Hijikata said, "See you later." Said bitterly, which confused Gintoki. What he said and how he said it contradicted each other.

The three men took off to the nearest port. Gintoki followed them to be exact. Amazingly, it was right where Gintoki thought it would be. Ships sat patiently, whether defunct or operational, lining every open dock. One, however, had lights on but no men on the exterior. All remained inside the hull.

As they boarded, men peeked their heads outside the doors. Alert as ever, once the three were recognized and determined as non-threatening, they went back to their business.

The meeting room was in the deepest section of the hull. With no obstructions or detours needed, it took only a few minutes. Once inside, he faced the usual crew. Looks of contempt and dissatisfaction from every person in the room, including Gintoki, set the mood for the proceeding conversation. Gintoki rubbed the back of his neck. "What do you need? I was busy tonight."

"Busy getting felt up, I'd take it?" Matako growled, Gintoki's lack of communication with the team clearly on her mind. "Why haven't you contacted us at all?" Her fingers curled into a fist as she sat in her chair.

"I have to make sure no one suspects me of anything. My ass is on the line here!"

Matako slammed her fists on the table and sprang to her feet. "Bullshit! Y-"

"Sit down, Matako." Takasugi said.

"But Shinsuke-sama…"

"Silence!" Takasugi's voice erupted, echoing in the room. "He has a point. He's our only in and only functioning spy in the Kiheitai." For once, Takasugi didn't berate or antagonize him but rationalized the predicament.

"Sorry, Shinsuke-sama…" muttered Matako, a dog licking her wound.

Takechi took the lead, placing his hands on the table like he was stabilizing himself from falling over pissed drunk. "Now, Gintoki, where are you in the terms of things?" Gintoki took a seat.

"I'm earning their trust. What else do you want from me?" Irked from being torn away from Hijikata, he grumbled, "This isn't gonna happen overnight. I have to place my cards strategically and pray to god the trap isn't discovered. All my work might end up for naught if I end up committing seppuku." His voice wavered toward the end. On average, he doesn't show his fears. But the idea of him and the plot being discovered by Hijikata terrified him. The bubble of his fake friendship with Hijikata, he didn't want to burst but must.

Takechi raised an eyebrow. "Gintoki… you did, didn't you?"

"Did what?"

"Become attached to them. You have a mission."

Gintoki rushed to his feet, slamming his hands on the table. "Of course not!" His fluster became a brute force. "N-now, I'm fucking leaving. Thanks for tearing me away from a possibly good night." He turned away, the door slamming behind him, stomping out of the ship to the nearest payphone.

With only a few yen coins on him, he inserted one into the slot, dialing Hijikata's cell phone number. It rang twice before his call was answered.

"Hello?" Hijikata's voice sounded on the other side.

"Did you leave yet?"

"I was about to."

Gintoki hesitated. He hadn't put much thought into what he was going to say. "I'm coming back." He hung up the second he finished speaking. He gave into his desire to see him even though the little voice in the back of his head urged him he shouldn't. It was right; he shouldn't. But what he should and shouldn't do blended into a monstrous pile of desire, aching for one man and one man only.

He grunted a loud, rumbling growl, pulling his hair in frustration, furious at the opposing feelings within him. Duty and honor? Or love and affection from the one who captivated his heart. He had to choose, and as much as he wanted to think he had all the time in the world, he didn't. He needed to make the decision and make it fast. Almost a year passed already, and four months of said year was without contact to the Kiheitai.

Whatever his choice was, it was betrayal of one organization for the other. One out of love, or one out of duty. The day was lingering in the distance, inching closer as each day passed by. It was now or never. He would complete his mission before the next raid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say today. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! And enjoy!


End file.
